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Author: Subject: Monty Python's "Life of Brian"

Zen Peach





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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 06:28 AM
"There will be no stoning of ANYONE....until I blow this whistle....even if they do say Jehovah"

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 06:31 AM
"I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'. "

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 06:34 AM
"He has a Wife you know... Her name ...is...intercontenentia.....intercontenentia buttocks"

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 06:42 AM
"Crucifixion? ... good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each. "

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 06:49 AM
"Crucifixion?"..."Who me?... No, they said I hadn't done anything wrong and that I was free to go"... "Well, Ok you can go".. "Naw, just pullin' your leg..it's Crucifixion"

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 06:52 AM
"what's so special about the cheesemakers?"
"Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products."

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 06:57 AM
Always look on the bright side of life

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 07:00 AM
"We are three wise men".

"Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me".

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 07:29 AM
"O.k. Aside from the aqueduct, what have the Romans ever done for us?


Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
F*ck off! We're the People's Front of Judea!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 07:35 AM
"O.k. Aside from the aqueduct, what have the Romans ever done for us?


"Education ? "

 

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Peach Head



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 08:05 AM
"What will they do to me?"

"Oh you'll probably get away with crucifixion."

"CRUCIFIXION?"

"Yeah, first offense."

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 08:13 AM
"It says.... Romans go home"

"No it doesn't"

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 10:23 AM
"I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers".

"Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers? "

"Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products..."

(oops - see someone already posted that ... ok)

"Alms for a leper! Alms for a leper! "

"Alms for an ex-leper!"


[Edited on 4/16/2009 by lolasdeb]

 

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"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

True Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 10:27 AM
Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal?
Matthias: No.
Centurion: Crucifixion!
Matthias: Oh.
Centurion: Nasty, eh?
Matthias: Could be worse.
Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"?
Matthias: Well, you could be stabbed.
Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death.
Matthias: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.


 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 10:32 AM
"It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them. "

"But you can't have babies. "

"Don't you oppress me."

"Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box? "

 

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"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

True Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 10:40 AM
Thread Hijack!

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
. . .
You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!



 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 10:51 AM
" I'm not the Messiah"


"You are too, I have followed enough to know"

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 02:05 PM
quote:
Thread Hijack!

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
. . .
You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!




Thread hijack indeed. That dialogue from "The Holy Grail" cracks me up everytime. One of my alltime favorites. And "Life A Brian" ain't too shabby either.

Well back to the original thread:

Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.



 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 03:15 PM
"He's been taken.........up"

"No. There he goes"

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 05:40 PM
"We were led by a star."

" Led by a bottle, more like."

 

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"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

Peach Head



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 07:15 PM
"All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

BigNose: "Oh, it's blessed are the MEEK! Oh, I'm glad they're getting something, they have a hell of a time. "
Reg: "What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem. "

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 4/16/2009 at 07:48 PM

Indiscrete man: Well, if it's not a personal question, are you a virgin?
Mother: "If it's not a personal question"?! How much more personal can you get? Now, Piss Off!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/17/2009 at 06:16 AM
"Albatross".....

"Albatross"

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/29/2009 at 11:46 PM
"We found this spoon sir"

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 5/30/2009 at 01:11 AM
People called "Romane", they go the house?!?!
 
 


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