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Author: Subject: I went back to work today.......

True Peach





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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 05:57 PM
After not working for a year and 3 months, I got up and took my sorry butt back to work. It kicked my @ss.

I had been out due to Anxiety(Bi-Polar) then 8 months to take care of my Aunt Marge until she passed away. After she passed the anxiety got worse.

I have gotten so tired of sitting at home at my Folks house (where I live now), that I decided I have to try and face my fears and work again. I wake up with horrible anxiety almost every morning. The only thing that really helped me with it(morning fear) was marijuana, if I smoked it right before bed time. Well, I gave up the weed 4 months ago.

I'm 52, and after being a HEAVY pot smoker for 37 years, i'm trying to beat this anxiety with my meds, Prayer and facing life head on. One of the meds I was taking quit working and my Psych offered others that I just can not afford without insurance.

Even my Psych who does not like weed, agreed that it seemed to help me most, but sometimes it made it worse. Plus i'm afraid that I may have already fried my brain.

I hate having to live with my Mom and Stepdad. I love them but they could care less that I feel as if i'm slowly losing my mind. They don't have the problem and they don't understand. It's not their fault anyway.

I'm back to driving for the courier company I did not want to return to. I figured they know me, being the mental case I am. So they would not be surprised if I went over the deep end while working. If things go okay I will look for a better job. I did not want to start working at a place I did not know anyone with these anxiety problems.

It was hard today, which was an easy day for the route I have. I got really anxious a few times..but I took my klonopin to ease it down.

Looks like old Kenny is starting his life over at age 52, and i'll be honest...it scares me. If any of you have had to start over with nothing at this age, I would like to get a PM from you. I feel at the moment like i'm hopeless. Not self pity, just scared as hell.

I go to an Emotion's support group and it does help. It's only when I'm alone and I let this dangerous brain of mine take over that things get bad...haha.

There may not be any tributes for a while, but I sure enjoyed doing them for you folks. They kept me occupied.

I'm going to try and still do the daily forum member's Birthdays. but I have to leave at 6:30am. So we will see. If not maybe someone else will.

Hopefully working again will make me feel better and give me a purpose to want to stand up and be a person me again.... oh yeah some money also.

I know a lot of folks that would love to be working, so I guess i'm lucky for that. Just wish the old noggin' was in better shape.

It's a never ending story with me, I know. I get tired of it myself.

Bless you Allman Brother friends/fans, you have been good to me.

 

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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:03 PM
I'm glad your feeling good enough to go back to work. Good luck. Your tributes are great.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:06 PM
Good for you Kenny to keep working at things. Best of luck to you. If your company's territory includes Lawrenceville, let me know. I use couriers sometimes, and I'd trust you with my time-sensitive filings.
 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:19 PM
Congratulations, Kenny, on your first day of the rest of your life!!!
I'm hoping it works out for you. You have made a good start. The
first day is always the hardest. And, believe me, 52 is not old!

 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:32 PM
Good for you! This was probably the worst day, just give each day your best fight, that is all you can do.

Check your PM's

 

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A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:49 PM
This is great news Kenny. I've got to find something new soon myself. I've been self-employed for the last 8 yrs. but it's starting to collapse. It's had me in a bad mental "funk" lately too. I'm ready to get the hair chopped, and go to work for someone else. We've got to get that mental picture of Rob Schneider in the background yelling "You can do it" as he does in the Adam Sandler movies. Good luck to you bro.



[Edited on 1/20/2009 by Mulehead1]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:53 PM
Kenny, bless your heart... it took a lot to write all this too. I hope going back to work does wonders for you in all good ways.

Peace

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:57 PM
Good luck Kenny

don't worry about the weed, no evidence it has any long term effects on brain activity.

stay focused on what you have as a task and don't think about the worries.

You will be great!

 

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Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 06:58 PM
Hang in there Kenny.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:03 PM
Hey Kenny ... good for you ... I wish you all the best with your endeavour ... and I will gladly go without your excellent tributes for awhile if it means you getting back on the road ... best of luck to you ...

 

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Sublime Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:07 PM
Happy for you Kenny. Stay strong bro!
 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:13 PM
This was your first day back. Just tell yourself it will get better with each day. I have confidense in you, Kenny. You're a good hearted man, and you have the support of all of us. Like others have said, I'm here for you. If you still have my number, feel free to call any time.

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:16 PM
Kenny, Take one day at a time. Some days will be better than others. Let as much of the bad vibes slide off your shoulder - as much as you can bro, and don't obsess on the bad, but reflect on the good ones - pickout what was so positive of those good days and try to repeat them.. When it comes to driving your route, look at it the same way you did all those great you tube vines. Let you route occupy you in a positive way, and be at peace with that.

If you can, see if you can get into a position where your organizational skills can be used - maybe some sort of research as I see those as strong qualities that you have.

Above all, you see you have friends (pals you did not know existed) and are always pulling for you and on your side. So always keep that in mind.



Mike / Brooklyn

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:33 PM
goodluck

and if things arnt perfect let them pass

and remember if you do go off the deep end
it isnt going to change anything

so dont self sacrifice yourself

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:41 PM
Kenny
Congrats on getting back. I won't tell you what to do (though it is an occupational hazzard of mine) and only promise that I'll pray for you as you fight thru it If I can do anything holler

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:43 PM
all the best to you. may the power of the fine folks here on the guest book be with you.....

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 07:47 PM
Good for you for getting back into it. It must have been so hard and so tiring.
You CAN do this and will be better and better! Know we are all on your side and are sending support every day!
((((((((((((Kenny))))))))))))))

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 08:03 PM
Congrats, Kenny! Your tributes will be missed but I'm sure all here will gladly lose those to have you back in the 'real world' (welcome to the jungle??? ) You hang in there - today was probably a toughie after being off for awhile but things will smooth out to that regular everyday pace. Good Luck with the job!

[Edited on 1/20/2009 by lolasdeb]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 08:10 PM
Good luck and don't give up. With life there is always hope and you will feel better.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 08:11 PM
Best of luck to you Kenny. You've got a lot of people in your corner, mi amigo.

Listen to good tunes while you're out on the road. This does not include Candlemass.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 08:32 PM
quote:
After not working for a year and 3 months, I got up and took my sorry butt back to work. It kicked my @ss.

I had been out due to Anxiety(Bi-Polar) then 8 months to take care of my Aunt Marge until she passed away. After she passed the anxiety got worse.

I have gotten so tired of sitting at home at my Folks house (where I live now), that I decided I have to try and face my fears and work again. I wake up with horrible anxiety almost every morning. The only thing that really helped me with it(morning fear) was marijuana, if I smoked it right before bed time. Well, I gave up the weed 4 months ago.

I'm 52, and after being a HEAVY pot smoker for 37 years, i'm trying to beat this anxiety with my meds, Prayer and facing life head on. One of the meds I was taking quit working and my Psych offered others that I just can not afford without insurance.

Even my Psych who does not like weed, agreed that it seemed to help me most, but sometimes it made it worse. Plus i'm afraid that I may have already fried my brain.

I hate having to live with my Mom and Stepdad. I love them but they could care less that I feel as if i'm slowly losing my mind. They don't have the problem and they don't understand. It's not their fault anyway.

I'm back to driving for the courier company I did not want to return to. I figured they know me, being the mental case I am. So they would not be surprised if I went over the deep end while working. If things go okay I will look for a better job. I did not want to start working at a place I did not know anyone with these anxiety problems.

It was hard today, which was an easy day for the route I have. I got really anxious a few times..but I took my klonopin to ease it down.

Looks like old Kenny is starting his life over at age 52, and i'll be honest...it scares me. If any of you have had to start over with nothing at this age, I would like to get a PM from you. I feel at the moment like i'm hopeless. Not self pity, just scared as hell.

I go to an Emotion's support group and it does help. It's only when I'm alone and I let this dangerous brain of mine take over that things get bad...haha.

There may not be any tributes for a while, but I sure enjoyed doing them for you folks. They kept me occupied.

I'm going to try and still do the daily forum member's Birthdays. but I have to leave at 6:30am. So we will see. If not maybe someone else will.

Hopefully working again will make me feel better and give me a purpose to want to stand up and be a person me again.... oh yeah some money also.

I know a lot of folks that would love to be working, so I guess i'm lucky for that. Just wish the old noggin' was in better shape.

It's a never ending story with me, I know. I get tired of it myself.

Bless you Allman Brother friends/fans, you have been good to me.


Brother Kenny -- what a great guy
Life can be an intimidating proposition and definitely IS a very expensive proposition -- everything you said I completely relate to
the fact is, some of the best people you ever meet aren't necessarily successful in the workaday world -- I know that I stink in the workaday world
You're among the best we got here brother -- all the best to you

 

____________________
"I know y'all came to hear our songs, we like to play 'em for you but without Gregg here it's really hard for us to do. He sings & plays so much & does such a good job. He's really sick, 103* He might've come, but no one would let him." Duane

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 08:34 PM
All the best to you, Kenny! You're one of the good ones. Congrats

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 08:44 PM
Congrats Kenny and don't sweat it....

Pack your luchbox every night and go to work the next day. And don't pay any attention to the BS that comes along with every job...

You'll be fine, I am sure

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 09:01 PM
"We have two lives... the life we learn with and the life we live after that. Suffering is what brings us towards happiness."
— Bernard Malamud (The Natural)

Good luck Kenny. Take each day as it comes; you never know which one is going to be the best.

 

True Peach



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  posted on 1/19/2009 at 09:04 PM
Best of wishes to you brother! I hope everything works out for you. Sending positive vibes.

 

____________________
Pete

 
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