Don't click or your IP will be banned


Hittin' The Web with the Allman Brothers Band Forum
You are not logged in

< Last Thread   Next Thread >Ascending sortDescending sorting  
Author: Subject: Holiday Tips

Super Moderator





Posts: 3870
(3929 all sites)
Registered: 6/17/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 02:51 AM

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies - Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

 

____________________
"Don't Ask Why"

 
E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage
Replies:

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18592
(18652 all sites)
Registered: 2/9/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 06:04 AM
quote:

It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.



Christmas or not, this is fantastic advice. NEVER buy a sports car with an automatic transmission!

 

____________________


 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 24390
(24565 all sites)
Registered: 3/31/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 07:34 AM

 

____________________


 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 13859
(13913 all sites)
Registered: 7/17/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 07:55 AM
Wow. I'm one of those weirdos who ... actually like fruit cake!

 

____________________
Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 24390
(24565 all sites)
Registered: 3/31/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 08:02 AM
My ma use to make them.

To this day I can't understand the attraction.
I suppose it's more of an aquired taste ...

 

____________________


 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 13859
(13913 all sites)
Registered: 7/17/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 08:05 AM
Oh, some are better than others - that's for sure!

Donna makes one using a very old family recipe that was acquired from a European chef many, many years ago. Those Claxton ones at the supermarket ain't too bad, either.

Bad ones? I have an aunt who sent one that I used for a doorstop until the mice that were killed nibbling on it started to get in the way.

Didn't mean to hi-jack Ron's wonderful thread, but are there any fruitcake fans out there?

 

____________________
Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 67009
(67526 all sites)
Registered: 10/27/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 08:38 AM
Fantastic, Ron.

Thanks for the laugh.

 

____________________
Hittin' The Web::Hugh Duty Memorial Giveaway has begun!

RIP Hugh Duty

 

Peach Extraordinaire



Karma:
Posts: 4622
(4622 all sites)
Registered: 8/15/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 09:24 AM
i really dig the motto to live by

 

____________________
To put someone in isolation, is an act of hostility





 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18593
(18594 all sites)
Registered: 11/20/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 10:26 AM
LOL!!! Love this Hop!!! Thanks for the laugh (and for the material for a holiday email for some of my friends and family )!

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

World Class Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5779
(5834 all sites)
Registered: 5/4/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/24/2008 at 10:34 AM
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.


My wife's family are the gravy hordes. I think they drink the stuff. You get it while you can. If you don't and it's gone well tooooo bad.

Don't forget the mistletoe either. If an object of your affection is under it, go for it. If it's the object of some else's affection too, what the hell. If the object is good looking, all the better! It's Christmas. It's once a year and we've got plenty of time to deal with any consequences should they arise!

Merry Christmas!

 

____________________
"It's all about Allman Brothers pride." T Thompson Greek Theater, Los Angeles 5/6/2005

 
 


Powered by XForum 1.81.1 by Trollix Software


Privacy | Terms of Service
The ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND name, The ALLMAN BROTHERS name, likenesses, logos, mushroom design and peach truck are all registered trademarks of THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. whose rights are specifically reserved. Any artwork, visual, or audio representations used on this web site CONTAINING ANY REGISTERED TRADEMARKS are under license from The ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. A REVOCABLE, GRATIS LICENSE IS GRANTED TO ALL REGISTERED PEACH CORP MEMBERS FOR The DOWNLOADING OF ONE COPY FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. ANY DISTRIBUTION OR REPRODUCTION OF THE TRADEMARKS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE PROHIBITED AND ARE SPECIFICALLY RESERVED BY THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO.,INC.
site by Hittin' the Web Group with www.experiencewasabi3d.com