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Author: Subject: Coot? Otie? Have you been networking???

Zen Peach





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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 10:35 AM
Wal Mart Applicant revealed...

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard).

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

( ***Old People Rock!*** )

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 
Replies:

Zen Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:02 AM
Very funny

 

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Quit!

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:02 AM
Deb!! LOL!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:08 AM
how did you get my application ?

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:10 AM
quote:
Deb!! LOL!
LMAO - wish I could have figured out how to get his photo out of the PDF I received this in to post here...he looks ornery!

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

Zen Peach



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Posts: 18593
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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:11 AM
quote:
how did you get my application ?
Just typed 'Lefty Collins' in a google search and there it was!

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

Zen Peach



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Posts: 13909
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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:16 AM
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
how did you get my application ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----

Just typed 'Lefty Collins' in a google search and there it was!

damm..

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:17 AM
quote:

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny.....


That rules out Coot and OTF

 

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Keep on Smiling


 

True Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:17 AM
That's great. Target for middle mgt hostility!

Does not sound like he's cut out for the greeter position, however.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:28 AM

 

____________________

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 02:00 PM
quote:
quote:

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny.....


That rules out Coot and OTF
It did not indicate whether they meant funny haha...

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

True Peach



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 02:10 PM
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp

It's as fake as Otie AND coot

 

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We're all Bozos on this bus!

 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 03:30 PM
Hahahaha even if it's fake that's great!

 

____________________
The heavens declare the glory of God
the skies proclaim the work of his hands
Day after day they pour forth speech
night after night they display knowledge
There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard

[img]http://science.nature

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 9/10/2008 at 11:53 PM

Just watch out if Coots wearing a hat

 

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Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life


 
 


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