Don't click or your IP will be banned


Hittin' The Web with the Allman Brothers Band Forum
You are not logged in

< Last Thread   Next Thread ><<  1    2  >>Ascending sortDescending sorting  
Author: Subject: Does anyone else have a difficult child?

Zen Peach





Posts: 24400
(24575 all sites)
Registered: 3/31/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 07:25 PM
I'm talking about a child who is almost 7 years old and has not grown out of the terrible twos.

He's been on several medications. The doctor tells us its part of ADHD called ODD.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

I swear my son is the poster child for birth control.

He's just extremely difficult. I've read the books, and watched the videos.

what fun

[Edited on 5/20/2008 by lonomon]

 

____________________


 
Replies:

Ultimate Peach



Karma:
Posts: 3800
(3797 all sites)
Registered: 12/11/2001
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:01 PM
Lonomon....I know you are kind of blowing off steam & being funny at the same time. But, I know your frustration. My daughter who is 4.5 has suffered from Sensory Integration disorder. Autistic kids have a form of sensory integration problems. My daughter doesn't appear to have the cognitive problems of autism but she did suffer very much the emotional problems (particularly from ages 11 months to almost 4 years old).

Anyway, Floortime is an amazing therapy for autism, sensory integration problems, and many other behaviorial issues. As parents we went to therapy with her and without her to learn how to deal with it (we used to get 4-5 hours of screaming almost six days a week; she couldn't deal with going to sleep or waking up or any kind of confinement including car seats, cribs, strollers; her frustration level even at 3.5 years old was that of about an 18-24 month old).

I am pleased to say with the training we received and the Floortime we have done with my daughter, things have improved 1000%. She definitely is very loving which to me proves she may not have even mild autism (though she gets age inappropriately frustrated at times).

Definitely look into Floortime. There are some great resources on the web. Just google Floortime. Most of the references will be to autism, but I think this could be part of your solution. Find a therapist who really understands Floortime to and go to some classes to learn (and be with other parents going through similar challenges).

Edited to say she was adopted at 10.5 months but we were unaware of any challenges. She is a doll now, but whew!

[Edited on 5/20/2008 by hotlantatim]

[Edited on 5/20/2008 by hotlantatim]

 

____________________
Tim L.

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 23373
(23372 all sites)
Registered: 12/27/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:04 PM
I don't have difficult children (or adults now), but i feel for what you are going through to some extent. Just want to let you know we're here for you.

 

____________________

Quit!

 

Super Moderator



Karma:
Posts: 3870
(3929 all sites)
Registered: 6/17/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:10 PM
quote:
I don't have difficult children (or adults now), but i feel for what you are going through to some extent. Just want to let you know we're here for you.

I'll second michaelsio, lonomon.

 

____________________
"Don't Ask Why"

 
E-Mail User

Peach Master



Karma:
Posts: 942
(942 all sites)
Registered: 2/9/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:19 PM
We adopted a child with ADHD, ODD, and they thought multiple personalities, it's a good thing my wife is a special ed teacher and all has went well, it's been fifteen years and now she is graduating high school and going on to college. Take it all for what it's worth, sometimes you just gotta walk away for a while and regroup, good luck.
 

Sublime Peach



Karma:
Posts: 7119
(7126 all sites)
Registered: 4/14/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:23 PM
my girlfriend's boy has been living in my house for 5 years. he's 12 now and he's been diagnoised as adhd and borderline bi-polar.we have found one thing that helps, don't give him anything with sugar in it.if you do make sure he does some activity to burn it off.he's been doing alot better as of late.hope you make some progress with him.

 

____________________
" it's the blues good as we can play it"

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 67056
(67573 all sites)
Registered: 10/27/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:44 PM
Both my sons have ADHD.

Both have been on Ritalin and then the time release Concerta for years.

Derek's IQ is in the genius range, but could barely dress himself before his meds kicked in.

As for sugar, ADHD kids tend to have an opposite affect, especially with stimulants like caffeine. (Ritalin and Concerta are stimulants)

That puts my kids to sleep.



Good luck.

I feel for you, and I sympathize.

 

____________________
Hittin' The Web::Hugh Duty Memorial Giveaway has begun!

RIP Hugh Duty

 

Sublime Peach



Karma:
Posts: 7843
(7856 all sites)
Registered: 8/30/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:44 PM

 

____________________


 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 16860
(16858 all sites)
Registered: 1/17/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:45 PM
It could be worse.......you could have teenagers. But that is another tale for another time. Going through some very tough stuff here.

But I feel and completely understand where you are coming from. Kids are not easy at the best of times so any disorders can only make it tougher.

 

____________________
Chicago Black Hawks - next season.


 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 13910
(15927 all sites)
Registered: 3/14/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:50 PM
you have my prayers and good vibes..I was very lucky in this department

 

____________________

 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 11157
(11157 all sites)
Registered: 9/17/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 08:57 PM
I can certainly empathize with what your going through. My oldest son has ADHD, he's 25 now and doing well. But it was a tough row to hoe. I felt soooo bad because he wasn't diagnosed until the 11th grade. I'm sure your aware of Strattera as an alternative to amphetamines. That's between you and your Doc. Have a huge amount of patience, make sure teachers are aware, etc...Watch closely as he grows for areas of interest that you can focus on and for possible future career, you probably know all this. Anyway good luck and hang in there, time does go by before you know it.

 

____________________

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 16576
(16858 all sites)
Registered: 12/24/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 09:24 PM
I feel for you, but I can't give you advice. I'll be thinking of you and your boy
and hoping for the best. I'll keep you in my prayers too. It is a very sad situation
with these children. I hope you can find a way to make the situation better.

 

____________________

Thanks for playing
R.I.P. Spacemonkey

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 24400
(24575 all sites)
Registered: 3/31/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 09:45 PM
I didn't get a chance to finish with my post earlier.
can you guess why?

There's a book, "Setting limits for the difficult child"

I forget the authors name at the moment, but he has two kids the same as mine.
One is compliant and does everything he's told, the other. Well, it's a train wreck
of monumental proportions.

My youngest is a good kid. Don;t get me wrong. When he's on this medicine called
Vyvanse. He's golden. His first grade teacher LOVES him. We even got paperwork
sent home about putting him in a gifted program. My first thought was WTF!

My wife is a teacher. She deals with kids like him ALL day long. She's ready to walk.
Christ, if she does, there certainly will be blood. Maybe not, but you get the point.
He hits my wife and she's trying to do all the good stuff.

If I ever pulled this crap back in the day, my ma wqould've crushed me. her with the
belt make Indiana Jones look like child's play. I still have no idea where the hell it came
from to this day.

It's tough. He screams at the the first sign of trouble and it doesn't matter what time of day.
I really think my neighbors hate me now, because no one talks to us anymore. You'd think
this child was being murdered. I initially chalked it up to anger mgt on my part. I have a
hair trigger temper and figured he got it from me. But this is beyond that.

Here's a funny part. His docotr told us to maybe see a child psych. Guess what.
that guy was brought up on charges for apparently molesting another child.


Yes. I'm really venting at this point. I just want to know that there are others out there
feeling my pain. It could be worse. But it sure could be a lot better too.

Thanks for the response thus far. I appreciate it.

Dan

 

____________________



 

Peach Head



Karma:
Posts: 109
(109 all sites)
Registered: 5/9/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 09:51 PM
Oh Man I feel your pain! My 6 Y.O. daughter is driving us crazy! Lies constantly, we had to get locks for all our cupboards, fridge ext because she get's into EVERYTHING!! And SO FREAKING DEFIANT!!!
Part of the problem is her older sister(8) is Autistic and as a result gets a lot of special attention & I think my youngest is acting out for attention. And of course we have to discipline them differently because my eldest doesn't have a same level of understanding. It's tough man!!

I
quote:
She definitely is very loving which to me proves she may not have even mild autism (though she gets age inappropriately frustrated at times).


As far as that goes, my autistic daughter is a VERY affectionate little girl & loves being around people. Although the fact that she's non-verbal does make socializing harder she is now learning sign language & doing GREAT!!( Of course now mom & dad need to get on board !)

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 67056
(67573 all sites)
Registered: 10/27/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/19/2008 at 11:06 PM
quote:
We even got paperwork
sent home about putting him in a gifted program. My first thought was WTF!



Not uncommon at all.


 

____________________
Hittin' The Web::Hugh Duty Memorial Giveaway has begun!

RIP Hugh Duty

 

Universal Peach



Karma:
Posts: 6612
(6612 all sites)
Registered: 11/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 12:07 AM
I don't have kids, but my brother was the poster child for ADD back before they even invented that diagnosis, and I can imagine what you're going through.

I remember my parents agonizing over him when I was a kid. What had they done wrong? Could he be cured? If so, how? There were much fewer resources about this subject back in the 70s, and I give my folks BIG props for trying so hard to do the right thing.

They were big believers in something called the Feingold Diet. No sugar, no artificial colors or flavors, etc. It definitely helped my brother. It wasn't until later that we put 2 and 2 together and realized that one of his worst meltdowns happened on Halloween after he had just eaten his weight in candy.

Anyway, to close on a positive note, my brother is now a relatively functional adult. He takes NO medication, holds a job, etc. He is superhumanly stubborn, and still gets profoundly upset and emotional about things that most adults would shrug off, but for the most part he's a pretty normal guy.

At least, what passes for normal in my family

 
E-Mail User

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1567
(1567 all sites)
Registered: 10/19/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 12:56 AM

My son is now 21 and still in the terrible two's . I won't elaborate on his behavior but we have been holding our breath that something awful doesn't happen to him.

 

____________________
" I love that woman better than any woman I've ever seen"

 
E-Mail User

Super Moderator



Karma:
Posts: 3870
(3929 all sites)
Registered: 6/17/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 02:01 AM

I have a 12-year old son and a 15-year old daughter who are relatively normal. I love them both and wish they'd apply themselves more at school. They are both capable of brilliant work, but seem to bored instead of interested. I cope.

But here's a story: I get my 11-year old car repaired at a local auto mechanic, walking distance from my house. A couple of weeks ago as I pulled into my driveway late one evening, some guy drove a motorcycle behind me. He said he was the son of the repair shop owner and had locked his wallet inside the shop. He couldn't reach his dad on the cell phone and when he saw me drive by, followed me to my house.

He asked to borrow 20 bucks to get home. I helped him out and he said he'd be by in the morning to repay me.

When he didn't show, I drove to the shop and spoke to his dad. He said his son has pulled this kind of trick before, borrowing money from customers -- and using it for "bad things."

I felt so sorry for this fellow -- his son is 32 years old and still acting like a 12-year old. What heartbreak he must feel ...

I hope I never have to go through this! I will always love my kids -- no matter what -- but I'd liike to see them succeed and grow into responsible adults.

 

____________________
"Don't Ask Why"

 
E-Mail User

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 24984
(25100 all sites)
Registered: 8/20/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 07:50 AM
Do what they did in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vV3J5rgW1w

 

____________________
Co-Owner of Charlie Tabers Football

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 14214
(15540 all sites)
Registered: 6/6/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 08:57 AM
My own child isn't difficult, but I can tell you 80% of the day care kids that have been in and out of here over the last 11 years have been difficult. Mostly they end up here because we don't do the daily routine of your typical day care, and kids who have difficulties can't function on a minute by minute schedule.

One boy Dylan, started ritalin when he was 2. He appeared to hate his parents and would throw fits everyday when it was time to go home. He is the ODD poster kid! His father bailed before he was three and the mother moved a few towns away where he got kicked out of his new day care because they didn't know what to do with him there. He came back here. What worked best with him, I was his friend, not the day care lady or the babysitter. If you said he was going to the baby sitter he would smack his mother. Pam's house was fun time for him. I had to keep him busy every second he was here or he would do something like take his shoes apart, laces out, shoe pads out and tear the bottoms off. I kid you not! He never really gave me a hard time though, not any more than the other kids who came here. He had the same rules as everyone else did and I think that was key to having him not give me such trouble as he did his mother. At home he has an older brother who got to have friends over and do things other kids got to do, but he didn't get to do those things because he seemed to be separated from everything other kids got to do at his age. When he started school I drove him to school and picked him up the first few months after he started kindergarten because he didn't want to go. Once he got into the routine of it he started taking the bus to school and I would just pick him up. Then we got him to take the bus all the time and I would just visit him on the weekend or he would come over here for a couple of hours while his Mom went shopping. He is going into third grade next year and he does OK in school so far. His Mom still calls me every once in awhile and I will go visit or they stop by here.
It is hard for parents to deal with all this stuff with their kids. I have had many of the ADHD kids in and out of here because they get canned from the places they go to. You aren't trained to work with special needs when you go to the classes for day care. My younger cousin had ADHD/ADD and I used to watch him when he was little so I learned a lot from him. He graduated high school last year!
I have an 8 year old autistic boy who comes over every other Saturday just to give his mother a break and he comes everywhere with us! Shopping for groceries, to the park, anywhere we have to go, and he always behaves. I went shopping with him and his Mom a few weeks ago and that was a nightmare in the store! It seems they just want to do things to their parents. Normal kids do the same thing it is just multiplied when you throw in a difficulty.
I am told I have the patience of a saint, and at times when I am with all the kids I do, it is just adults I have no patience for sometimes.


 

____________________
Good lucks never really been a strong suit of mine, can't get a nickel for a dime...

 
E-Mail User

World Class Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5463
(5472 all sites)
Registered: 12/14/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 09:19 AM
Some of you know my wife Darice. She now works with abused children who have become abusers themselves. The majority (98%) of them have some sort of diagnosis attached to them that ranges from psychosis to M R. However my observation is that many of them are treated for ADHD/ADD. I am not going to rush to a conclusion but it is studied & documented that this diagnosis has been used as a catch -all by many physicians. One thing I would do if I were you would be to get a second opinion about all of your child's diagnoses & medications. Combined with Floortime and other hands-on therapy that teach them how to deal with what they can't express seems to be a calming agent for your storm.

 

____________________

 

A Peach Supreme



Karma:
Posts: 2395
(2403 all sites)
Registered: 6/25/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 09:27 AM
I have an adult friend with pretty severe ADHD which also usually comes with depression and anxiety and it is hereditary. He suffers with depression and I am concerned for him most of the time but he is a genius. I think back to how they treated these types of kids when I was in school in the 60's and 70's. These kids were the ones who were always made to sit out in the hall and in trouble. They were the ones who were put in remedial classes cause they couldn't focus enough to do well in the regular ones. Thank goodness doctors finally figured it out and these kids could get some help. Lots of kids are diagnosed with ADHD these days and take medication for it. I used to volunteer in the clinic at an elementary school and had to give out the meds. It helps some kids but there are some other ways to deal with it. I recommend CHADD for assistance. http://chadd.org/

All you can do is love your children unconditionally and seek answers to their issues. Keep trying to figure it out and solutions will come. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

 

____________________

 

Ultimate Peach



Karma:
Posts: 3800
(3797 all sites)
Registered: 12/11/2001
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 09:32 AM
Good points all.

Pam wrote:
"I have an 8 year old autistic boy who comes over every other Saturday just to give his mother a break and he comes everywhere with us! Shopping for groceries, to the park, anywhere we have to go, and he always behaves. I went shopping with him and his Mom a few weeks ago and that was a nightmare in the store! It seems they just want to do things to their parents."

You are right. Special needs kids are almost always hardest on their primary caregiver. With our daughter, people didn't actually believe the amount of screaming we described, because she didn't do it with other adults as much. But, a point to be made here is that it isn't always just freewill and wanting to give their mom or caregiver grief. Their level of frustration and rejection they internalize is actually different when it is their primary caregiver. That can also lead to problems between couples....in our case my daughter was always hardest on her mom and would behave (incrementally) better when I was around.

Get outside help and read about out Floortime.

 

____________________
Tim L.

 

Maximum Peach



Karma:
Posts: 9008
(9009 all sites)
Registered: 4/17/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 09:37 AM
Don't give up

 

____________________
Danny Spell

 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1418
(1420 all sites)
Registered: 3/11/2008
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/20/2008 at 09:47 AM
I too have a 7 year old and another one about to hit 13 and soon the hormones a-flyin'

Advice - P.U.S.H.

Pray Until Something (good) Happens.



 

____________________
"It is your ATTITUDE, not your APTITUDE, that determines your ALTITUDE." Z.Z.

 
<<  1    2  >>  


Powered by XForum 1.81.1 by Trollix Software


Privacy | Terms of Service
The ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND name, The ALLMAN BROTHERS name, likenesses, logos, mushroom design and peach truck are all registered trademarks of THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. whose rights are specifically reserved. Any artwork, visual, or audio representations used on this web site CONTAINING ANY REGISTERED TRADEMARKS are under license from The ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. A REVOCABLE, GRATIS LICENSE IS GRANTED TO ALL REGISTERED PEACH CORP MEMBERS FOR The DOWNLOADING OF ONE COPY FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. ANY DISTRIBUTION OR REPRODUCTION OF THE TRADEMARKS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE PROHIBITED AND ARE SPECIFICALLY RESERVED BY THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO.,INC.
site by Hittin' the Web Group with www.experiencewasabi3d.com