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Author: Subject: "Drummer Fines''

Extreme Peach





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  posted on 5/12/2008 at 10:13 PM
Man.....rec'vd. thiss and figured it was time, at least for me, to retire. Don't know how JaBuMa might rate on this scale....could prove beneficial for Gregg, Warren, Oteil, & Derek...



Drummer's Fines

DRUMMERS REAL NAME: _______________________________
(other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake", "Biff "... etc.)


-Setup / Equipment Offences-


Brings a 36" bass drum - $25
Has more than one bass drum - $100.
Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat) - $50.
Brings more than 2 mounted toms - $25.
Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms - $50.
Brings more than one floor tom - $25.
Uses extra floor tom for ashtray & drink holder - $75
Brings more than two crash cymbals - $25.
Doesn't bring a ride cymbal - $250.
Uses Sabian B8 cymbal set - Dismissal & Public Torture
Uses ZBT, ZXT, et al cymbal set - Public Execution
Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings) - $75.
Brings two timpani (for really big endings) - $100.
Brings extra splashes (Just in case) - $25 each
Doesn't own any brushes - $300.
Owns brushes but can't play them - $500
Has a hi-hat that is welded shut - $250.
Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones - $200.
Asks Guitarist for help with unloading drums - $150
Wears dirty white Nike sneakers on tux gig - $50.
Tunes snare drum during the benediction - $175.
Tunes snare drum - $10


-Performance Offences-


Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust" - $150.
Pretends to read chart with big band - $25.
Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note) -$200.
Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday" - $1000.
Plays disco beat on "A Train" - $200.
Plays shuffle on "Mustang Sally" - $100
Plays "Mustang Sally" correctly - Dismissal
Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake" - $100.
Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5" - $25.
Actually tries to play on "Take 5" - $150.
Asks leader what brushes are - $250.
Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks - $50.
Plays blast beats during "Johnny B. Goode" - $500




-Miscellaneous Offences-


Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future" - $100.
Is first in line at the party's buffet -$50.
Asks where the "to-go bags" are at the buffet line -$100.
Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters" - $50.
Says to the bride "You've got a nice set of hooters" - $25.
Says to the brides mother "Hey this is a f#%*in' good party"- $150.
Is ten minutes late for the next set - $25.
Is twenty minutes late for the next set - $10.
Never shows up for the next set - $1.
Wears Slipknot makeup for band photo shoot - Dismissal
Excessive Sweating - $5000




-Drummer Crimes-


Warming up on "60 Ways..." or "Rosanna." - $50
LISTENING to Rosanna, even in private with headphones on. - $50
Extends solo in Zep's "Rock & Roll" to 10 minutes - $1000
Bringing a mega kit to a multiband gig. - $100
Breaking that kit down on stage after your **** ty set. - $250
Asks bassist to move rig so third floor tom will fit onstage - $50 (per Sq. Ft.)
Extra logo stickers on bass drum head - $75 each.
Stick holders - $10
Drumming Shoes - $100
Drumming gloves - Dismissal
Double pedals - $500
USING the double pedals. - Dismissal
Wearing Zildjian T-shirt onstage. - $50
Roto toms. - $50 each
RIMS mounts and Moongel used simultaneously - Public Flogging
Extra deep kicks and toms. - $50 each
Glow in the dark drumsticks - $500
Asks keyboard player about GED test - $150
Hits on singer's girlfriend - $5
Hits on club owner's wife - $1000


 

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Brodana

 
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Universal Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 08:26 AM
Now we know why drummers are always broke.
 
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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 08:45 AM
The whole band should be shot for even playing a wedding gig

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 09:13 AM
quote:
The whole band should be shot for even playing a wedding gig


Spoken by a guy who makes very little money to play his drums..

 

Universal Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 10:02 AM
quote:
The whole band should be shot for even playing a wedding gig


Hey James,

Sometimes they're the only gigs you can get. I got a long time good friend, who's been playing drums for well over 40 years. Played in many types of bands, rock, country, blues, RnB, you name it. Spent time on the road and time in the studio. Just a good, all around, experienced drummer who's though of highly by those who have played with him. What's he doing now? He's playing in a beach music/oldies type of band. Not his favorite type of music, but the band play regularly and the gigs pay decent ($1000-1500, which isn't bad for a local/regional "weekend warriors" type of band). Btw, the band has been know to do "weddings".

[Edited on 5/13/2008 by cleaneduphippy]

 
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Peach Head



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 10:15 AM
quote:
The whole band should be shot for even playing a wedding gig





Weddings are not my favorite either...but they do pay well...and seems some gigs come from them......

[Edited on 5/13/2008 by hwlinwulf]

 

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jump up and kick the door down.......annndddd....leave my blues at home......

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 11:03 AM
quote:
Spoken by a guy who makes very little money to play his drums..


I'd would rather play with other musicians in an enviroment where you start playing "anything" and see hwere it goes. Individuals expressing themselves with their instruments holds way more merit than going thru the motion of being a juke box that drinks an occasional beer or a rum and coke for a gratuity.

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 11:24 AM
quote:
I'd would rather play with other musicians in an enviroment where you start playing "anything" and see hwere it goes. Individuals expressing themselves with their instruments holds way more merit than going thru the motion of being a juke box that drinks an occasional beer or a rum and coke for a gratuity.



Absolutely no offense intended here, but you come off as a self-righteous douchebag

I play good music (ABB, and other blues-based music...and an occasional Mustang Sally) in a band that does several weddings a year for cool people who like good music. I'll continue to pay my bills with the profits from these wedding gigs, have an occasional rum and coke, and feel no shame.

 

Peach Head



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 11:43 AM
quote:
quote:
Spoken by a guy who makes very little money to play his drums..


I'd would rather play with other musicians in an enviroment where you start playing "anything" and see hwere it goes. Individuals expressing themselves with their instruments holds way more merit than going thru the motion of being a juke box that drinks an occasional beer or a rum and coke for a gratuity.




As musicians, there is nothing more satisfying than getting together with others and creating something out of nothing. Those of us who have the benefit of having access to a network of great musicians are afforded this luxury. That being said, most of us will gladly take four or five hours out of our lives to be a "juke box" and make some serious bread. They're easy enough, you don't have to deal with shady club owners who look to rip you off, and most of the time you're not strolling in your house at 4am. Besides, "merit" and rum and cokes do not pay the rent.

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 12:05 PM
Hmmmmmm some kinda newage drum fine list i am thinking,this is the set i play no matter where i go and i would fine anyone for playing a double pedal instead of playing double bass drums... i have never understood this if i wanted the same sound for both Bass drums i would just play one and double the speed ala Bonham or Ian Paice... Drummers take to much abuse LOL

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 01:54 PM
quote:
Drummers take to much abuse LOL


Which remind me of the old drummer joke:

What do call a drummer without a wife or girlfriend.

Homeless.

Btw: Cool set of Rogers, I know many a drummer who played Rogers back in the day and would have loved having a double bass drum setup like you have. Also, White Pearl has always been a favorite.

 
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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 06:08 PM
quote:
Absolutely no offense intended here, but you come off as a self-righteous douchebag


If I offended you, please forgive me. My comment was just a prefrence and I can see how my way of elaborating that came across as you defined it. Been a long time since I was called a dochebag.

I payed my dues playing the club circuits of America in a converted school bus,worked as a drum-tech for a major band (played for them twice when their drummer was too ill) and I am only saying this to let it be known that my drum stool has been in that place as a working musician, more precise, a strugglling working musician.

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 06:20 PM
quote:
USING the double pedals. - Dismissal
Make you wonder how that Bohnam guy kept his job!

No fines for having,and playing,cowbell?

 

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Well 30 years of heart and soul,lord we took it further than rock and roll.
We stood together thru thick and thin,yeah we made the best of it all back then.
Then I guess time took it's toll,cut me deep,cut me cold.
Brother against brother....

 

Universal Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 07:29 PM
Hey James,

You were a lucky cat, in the sense that you were able to hook up with a band that in it's day was able to make some serious noise, most drummers (and musicians) aren't that fortunate. And truth be told, after a certain age, your musical opportunities become somewhat limited, especially if you like to go out and play for an audience. Most 40 and 50 year old can't and won't be "road warriors" anymore. So the way I look at, if you're playing and having fun and making an audience happy, that's all the really count. Being cool and look what a great drummer I am, yada yada, ect, well that sh*t is way overrated. Believe me I've met more that my share of musicians with "rock star" attitudes, that look down their noses at the "weekend warrior" musicians that have to play the "not so cool" music. Funny thing is, a lot of these "weekend warrior" who play the "not so cool" music, can tear a lot of these "rock star" musicians asses up musically. Sorry if I'm coming accross a little hard.

 
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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 08:59 PM
The funny thing is that my original post of.......
quote:
The whole band should be shot for even playing a wedding gig
was meant to be tounge in cheek , so to speak, and an attempt at being humorous. I wasn't intending anything about a persons ability to play or down playing their means to make an end. Music means so much more to me than a paycheck, but I shouldn't be so pretentious on another, no matter the circumstance. I totaly droped the ball, first at humor, then being lame in the generalization or anothers actions.

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 10:21 PM
Interesting 'reflections' on what was intended as some lighthearted fun.

My struggle, as someone who has ran the gamut from 'road warrior' to 'weekend warrior' to all points in-between, at my stage of life.....w/kids in High School, College, a dog, an ex-wife, job, etc., is finding musicians at my level. By that, I mean.....I'm no longer good-enuff for some.....and too good for others. Many want to play/rehearse TOO much.....many don't want to play/rehearse 'enuff'...... I have only so much time to devote to my 'craft'. I can't learn the 'rock/blues' version of Beethoven's 9th ROCK Symphony and the entire "YES-Fragile" album--don't have the time (or interest)....yet I'm sick of playing MUSTANG SALLY, every SRV shuffle known, and YES..."Southbound''. I cringe at playing "Takin' Care of Business" and/or "Play that Funky Music White Boy". Talk about FRUSTRATION. Last band I worked seriously with were mostly 'youngsters' who were content to drive 100 miles for 50 buks a man for 'exposure'. Kick-ass band, but I'm not gonna drive to Cincy on a Thursday nite for a net of 20 dollars and get back home at 4AM. Flip-side is 50 year olds who somehow think they're perfect and have dreams of 'grandeur'....ain't gonna happen. Most time their ''ego-to-talent ratio'' is way out of kilter. These guys, too, are a dime a dozen.

I tend to avoid the situation anymore and that both dissappoints and scares me. I hate the idea of not getting a 'crowd' fired up one more time. Like Brother Gregg once said...."Don't care whether there's 4 people or 4000, I love to play" ....but am afraid it may not happen anymore to a degree that fulfills. It's like playing BASEBALL.....not 'softball'......realize I'll never again face a pitcher firing an 85 MPH fastball and the crack of that bat. Worried playing the drums in a meaningful way will be the same experience. Oh well.....and so it goes....

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 5/13/2008 at 11:56 PM
quote:
Interesting 'reflections' on what was intended as some lighthearted fun.

My struggle, as someone who has ran the gamut from 'road warrior' to 'weekend warrior' to all points in-between, at my stage of life.....w/kids in High School, College, a dog, an ex-wife, job, etc., is finding musicians at my level. By that, I mean.....I'm no longer good-enuff for some.....and too good for others. Many want to play/rehearse TOO much.....many don't want to play/rehearse 'enuff'...... I have only so much time to devote to my 'craft'. I can't learn the 'rock/blues' version of Beethoven's 9th ROCK Symphony and the entire "YES-Fragile" album--don't have the time (or interest)....yet I'm sick of playing MUSTANG SALLY, every SRV shuffle known, and YES..."Southbound''. I cringe at playing "Takin' Care of Business" and/or "Play that Funky Music White Boy". Talk about FRUSTRATION. Last band I worked seriously with were mostly 'youngsters' who were content to drive 100 miles for 50 buks a man for 'exposure'. Kick-ass band, but I'm not gonna drive to Cincy on a Thursday nite for a net of 20 dollars and get back home at 4AM. Flip-side is 50 year olds who somehow think they're perfect and have dreams of 'grandeur'....ain't gonna happen. Most time their ''ego-to-talent ratio'' is way out of kilter. These guys, too, are a dime a dozen.

I tend to avoid the situation anymore and that both dissappoints and scares me. I hate the idea of not getting a 'crowd' fired up one more time. Like Brother Gregg once said...."Don't care whether there's 4 people or 4000, I love to play" ....but am afraid it may not happen anymore to a degree that fulfills. It's like playing BASEBALL.....not 'softball'......realize I'll never again face a pitcher firing an 85 MPH fastball and the crack of that bat. Worried playing the drums in a meaningful way will be the same experience. Oh well.....and so it goes....


I took the whole thread as fun... and your post is very well put, when you have been there and done that to whatever degree you got to... then you have nothing to prove anymore i am playing for myself these days finding new challenges for myself and my 57 year old body....i have played since 1964 and still love it but i have Tennitis now and i am very happy to just jam with friend or spend a night just playing old tunes... drums will always make me smile

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 5/14/2008 at 12:22 PM
Drummers are fine...it's the 'Pounders' that drive you crazy...

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/14/2008 at 02:14 PM
Dana, me and you have the same dilemma. I want to play with people in my same peer group (40 to 50, give or take a few) and also play with people who are like minded, musically. If it wasn't for the Hayseeds, I'd sell all my sh*t in a minute. But when I have Wanee Campfire Jams, The Hayseed Christmas Party, Jam For Duane, GABBA Fan Jam, etc., it gives me SOMETHING to look forward to.

I never was a virtuostic bass player, and when I don't play for long periods of time, my self confidence goes down the crapper. Playing alongside folks like Brent, Barry, Lefty, Jon May, John Howard, George Wood, Tony Tyler, etc., is a real buzz. I don't feel worthy sometimes.

I think I'm about to start playing in the church band after a nearly four month hiatus. The young guy who came in after I left is going to Europe for a month with a school group, so I'll be back playing bass soon.

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 5/14/2008 at 04:53 PM
Well put yourself in your last post Big Dave.....Hey, we laid down a pretty good groove up there at the Beacon LAST spring! Hope we get a chance to do that again. We'll just have to keep on keepin' on!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 5/14/2008 at 05:16 PM
quote:
Well put yourself in your last post Big Dave.....Hey, we laid down a pretty good groove up there at the Beacon LAST spring! Hope we get a chance to do that again. We'll just have to keep on keepin' on!
Yeah, we did jam! And I'm looking forward to the next time!

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 5/14/2008 at 05:20 PM
quote:
Well put yourself in your last post Big Dave.....Hey, we laid down a pretty good groove up there at the Beacon LAST spring! Hope we get a chance to do that again. We'll just have to keep on keepin' on!


Hey Dana,

You owe me a jam or ten too....

GABBA or JFD..take your pick.....

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 5/14/2008 at 07:07 PM
you guys need to pack up and come out to Idaho for a little rest and relaxation and alot of Jamming..

 

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"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the
Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian." -Henry Ford

 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 5/14/2008 at 07:49 PM
We keep tryin' to talk you guys into coming to Dayton on July 3rd to see "SoulStew"....we'll get some things goin' around town probably later that nite and/or couple nites before ....or.....after!!!

Plenty of couch space here at the 'con-fines'......

Check out FRAZE.com

 

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Brodana

 
 


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