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Author: Subject: Dog v.s. Cat ... a diary

Zen Peach





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  posted on 10/19/2007 at 02:33 PM
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...
Cat

[Edited on 10/19/2007 by lolasdeb]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/19/2007 at 02:49 PM
please do not post cat pics in this thread. Word to the wise

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 10/19/2007 at 03:16 PM

Thanks Deb, that was quite humorous!!!

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 10/19/2007 at 05:56 PM
That was a very funny read. Thanks for posting! Very recognisable stuff.
As if i just read my cat's diary. My cat tries to assasinate me while coming down the stairs at least once a day.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/19/2007 at 06:04 PM
LOL! Deb, this is great stuff!!! LOL!

 

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Peach Head



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  posted on 10/19/2007 at 06:09 PM
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!

 

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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 10/19/2007 at 06:31 PM
Cats rule!
 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2007 at 08:44 PM
LMAO from a cat lover. very good Deb Cats are really characters. I have a beautiful Himalayan cat and my daughter's 'orange' cat is staying with us. Growing up out in the country, we had lots of cats and no mice. We also had some wonderful dogs.

And Eric, feel free to post all the cat pics you want.

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2007 at 08:49 PM


 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2007 at 09:09 PM
i lost my dog a couple of years ago,a 15 year old yellow lab"anji"she was my best friend.replaced her with a cat.who the other morning when i didn't get up when she wanted me to,she took her paw and cleaned of the top of my dresser for me.tori is a trip!
 

True Peach



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  posted on 10/20/2007 at 09:19 PM
Very funny!

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 11/12/2007 at 03:20 PM
Point/Counterpoint: Cats Are Better Than Dogs



Point
Cats Are Better Than Dogs

By Anita Kerwicki


I've always been a fan of felines. As far as pets go, you can't beat them! I have three myself, and I couldn't adore them more. I don't care what you say, cats are clearly better than dogs. I can't even list all the reasons here, so I'll just stick with my favorites.

First of all, cats are about a thousand times easier to care for. You don't have to walk them or bathe them because they're smart enough to figure out all that stuff on their own (unlike some other domestic mammals I don't care to mention). Plus, they have the common courtesy to do their business in the litter box, instead of all over your house and yard. Just one of the many reasons cats rule and dogs—quite literally—drool.

Second, cats have all sorts of personality! Take my cat Smarty for instance. He's a total ham, always jumping from lap to lap when company comes, with a look on his face like, "Hey, everybody! Pay attention." And when they don't, boy does he get pouty! Then there's Boopie, who's more chilled out and kind of does his own thing. I won't even get into Meatball, because he'd kill me if I ever wrote about him!

In comparison, every dog I've ever met is exactly the same: dumb, hyper, and obsessed with chasing tennis balls. It's like they're not even trying. Now I know all those dog people are going to argue with me on this and try to tell me all dogs are unique, but frankly, I just haven't seen it. Maybe someday I'll meet a dog with one-tenth the personality your average cat has in his left hind paw, but I highly doubt it.

Ever seen a cat eat its own poop?

Not to mention, cats are so much more independent than dogs. They can disappear for hours, having their own little adventures, and then pop up again just when you least expect it. It's like running into a long-lost friend on the street, but in your house! Meanwhile, those big, dumb slobbery dogs just plod around after you whether you want them to or not. They can't do anything for themselves. Unless it's eating your shoes!

Nope. You'll never convince me that dogs are superior to cats in any way. So just stop trying.

I could go on all day about how great cats are. They don't make noise, their breath doesn't stink, and they're adorable as kittens—but I don't think that's necessary. Anyone with sense can see that they're simply the better pet, hands down. So, in conclusion, I would like to say that, no matter how good dogs are at catching Frisbees and swimming, they simply can't compete with the world's best furry companion. The one, the only, the cat.



Counterpoint
Fine

By Dominic McMeel


Sure, whatever.





http://www.theonion.com/content/node/69384

 

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