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Author: Subject: Open apology to CO & Buford

Peach Pit





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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 05:22 PM
I am posting this on the outside chance that Candace Oakley may occasionally read this forum.

I was in the Macon area last week, (6/30) so I decided I would visit Rose Hill Cemetery and see the graves of Duane and Berry. I remembered that a good friend of mine has a headstone rubbing from Jimi Hendrix’s grave and thought I would do the same. While doing so I was angrily confronted by two people whom (until very recently) I assumed were a couple of local psychos. After talking with others about the incident I can only now assume they were Candace Oakley and her husband Buford. I was dumbfounded as I was verbally abused for several minutes and then I just walked away.

While I have long been a big fan of the ABB, I do not follow them anywhere near as closely as most of the people here, and was unaware of all of the trouble and vandalism that has gone on in the past at Rose Hill.

After doing a little research, I now understand where they were coming from and would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize to the family. I now realize what I did was wrong and totally against the wishes of the surviving family. Please believe me when I honestly say I meant no disrespect and would never harm any gravesite. While I think the situation may have been more helpful to all involved if it had been handled differently, I have no intention of trying to second guess the feelings or emotions of those who have lost someone near to them and then subjected to vandalism of a loved one’s grave. My heart goes out to them.

While I am not trying to make excuses for my actions, I have always thought of cemeteries a little different than most here. I don’t tend to think of cemeteries as hallowed ground or even the final resting place for the deceased, but as more of a monument to their life. I like to think that the dead have moved on to a better place. With that said, if I ever visit again, I will honor the wishes of the family and not “overstep” my welcome.



[Edited on 7/11/2007 by WGOE]

 
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Peach Head



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 05:31 PM
Wow. That takes stones to come here and make an open apology. I've made plenty of mistakes in my life and it takes a lot to admit it... especially on a public forum.


 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 05:36 PM
WGOE, thanks for your post. CO and B are pretty nice people once you get to know them. Us here wished you had obeyed the sign, but that being said, I think you were big to post.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 05:45 PM
WGOE - this public appology is a nice gesture on your part.

 

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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 05:47 PM
WGOE, it is a nice gesture to post a public apology. Might I suggest you follow it up with a donation to the Allman-Oakley Fence Fund, which you can find information about here on this forum.

Eat A Peach For Peace

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 07:38 PM
Your sincerity comes through in your post WGOE -- this is a friendly bunch here and, while your actions at the cemetery point up the frustration that we all feel at the ongoing problem at the cemetery -- look at the Rose Hill Follies in the Whipping Post thread -- it's big of you to come here and apologize. I'm sure it has been/will be accepted.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 08:02 PM
R-E-S-P-E-C-T - you got mine, bro! Way to be! After you spend a little time at this site, you'll understand the feelings involved.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 08:17 PM
Thank you for your heartfelt apology. I can assure you it will be relayed to Candace and Buford. You have my respect for your willingness to post here. Welcome to the forum!

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 09:24 PM
Rock On WGOE! Please stick around. I'm sure you've got a lot of good stories to share. Allmanbrothersband.com is fun place to hang out and I think you'll like it here.

Remember Duane Allman! Remember Berry Oakley!

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 09:32 PM
Nothing beats a sincere apology and accepting personal responsibility; a lost artform...





[Edited on 7/7/2007 by RedRider]

 

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Peach Pit



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 09:53 PM
WOW!! This is NOT the response I expected. You all are a classy bunch of people to treat me so well under the circumstances. I made sure I fully zipped my flamesuit before I posted. I was fully expecting to be blasted for my behavior.

I can't believe I registered for this forum over 5 years ago, and the first post I make I have to do so with my head lowered in shame.

I think I just may stick around for a while.


 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 10:02 PM
quote:
think I just may stick around for a while.



good idear

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 10:09 PM
quote:


I can't believe I registered for this forum over 5 years ago, and the first post I make I have to do so with my head lowered in shame.

I think I just may stick around for a while.




No need to hold your head in shame. That was very courageous to do what you did.

Welcome to the board

 

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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 10:16 PM
everyone falls down..it's not about how you fall down, it's about how you get up..welcome man, and props on the apology

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 10:39 PM
Wow, WGOE, your timing is uncanny. Assuming this is legit, it doesn't sound like that you were out to actually harm the graves, so that is the important thing. Although a bunch of folks that I know personally have been 'approached' simply for being in the general area in the past, it sounds like you were actually on the graves, and that will get a response every time, and it should. While your thoughts on it being handled differently are legit, unfortunately, there are wack jobs of every stripe who are out to harm famous tombstones for all kinds of selfish, personal, and out right crazy reasons and it does obviously get out of hand at times, hence the concern. It doesn't look like you were out to disrespect Duane or Berry.

DH

 

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Peach Pit



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 11:05 PM
quote:
Assuming this is legit, it doesn't sound like that you were out to actually harm the graves, so that is the important thing.


I assure you this is legit. You can not imagine how bad I felt once I actually delved into the suject. All week I have been telling people about the crazies down South who ran me out of a cemetery. Once I started reading about the situation, I felt sick to my stomach for making light about my insensitivity. I knew I had to do something when I was riding in my car today listening to my iPod on random. A track from an old show in '71 came on and I hit the FF button to skip the track. Listening to it made me feel guilty. While my intent in posting was not to make myself feel better, the responses I have gotten have done just that. I have the Bros playing on my iTunes now. They are just too damn good to skip over.

 

Universal Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 11:08 PM
Derek, well intentioned headstone rubbings do more harm to the graves then just about anything else combined and are a large part of the cleaning bill that Candace alone foots...

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 11:10 PM
Now is the time for my regularly scheduled appearance to mention that's why we're trying to build a fence...please consider it mentioned.

 

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A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 11:19 PM
WGOE, hope you understand the potential harm the rubbings can do, and realize it wasn't someone just wanting you to not be close to the graves. Having said that, lighten up on yourself.... I would guess it was made to seem like the crime of the century at the moment it happened, but loved ones get a little crazy / touchy about their lost kin. All meant in a protective good way, but sometimes the message can seem overly harsh.....

 

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Peach Pit



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 11:21 PM
quote:
Derek, well intentioned headstone rubbings do more harm to the graves then just about anything else combined and are a large part of the cleaning bill that Candace alone foots...


At the time, I was under the impression that a PROPERLY DONE rubbing would not do any harm to a headstone. I was wrong to step over the fence, but I would never purposely harm ANY headstone.

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/6/2007 at 11:41 PM
You're right....a properly done rubbing doesn't harm the graves because the marble is completely covered with paper and generally charcoal rather than crayon is used....I think the key words in the above posts are 'potential harm' and 'well intentioned' which generally aren't done with proper precautions. And of course there was the one woman who was doing her rubbing with crayons and allowed her 2 year old daughter to sit at the end of the marble and color while she was working. That didn't work out very well as one can imagine.

But, whatever...no harm, no foul and thank you for coming here to post. I know it took a lot to do it and I'm glad you get to see that we're basically nice people!

 

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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 7/7/2007 at 12:46 AM
Can someone explain to me what a "headstone rubbing" is, and how its done? I honestly dont know.

Just out of curiosity.

Thanks

"D"

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 7/7/2007 at 01:08 AM
quote:
Can someone explain to me what a "headstone rubbing" is, and how its done? I honestly dont know.

Just out of curiosity.

Thanks

"D"


Basically, a piece of paper is positioned over the lettering or design of a headstone, then with chalk or charcoal, preferably, you trace over the design transfering to the paper.

D28, the concept is the same as placing paper over a coin and tracing off the facings with a pencil.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 7/7/2007 at 02:12 AM
WGOE,

Please stay here and don't leave....

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 7/7/2007 at 02:30 AM
Not taking sides here and stating only an opinion in the form of a question. Didn't Duane and Berry and the rest of the Band hang out in the same Cemetery?... Didn't they sit on Headstones and play their Guitars?.. Didn't they smoke and drink and laugh out there until all hours of the night and Morning?

What's the difference?

Didn't the people buried out there have families as well?
Would we be listening to Elizabeth Reed and Little Martha if all the Graves had Fences around them?

 

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