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Author: Subject: Advice on dating someone older

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 09:48 AM
My parents just recently divorced and they were 15 years apart... I think the age difference was a factor. Lately it seems like everyone I have been meeting is at least 10 years older than me.... and I was just wondering age really does matter..??

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 09:59 AM
you should stick with dirty old men...



we're a great bunch.

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:00 AM
i'm curious to hear everyones experience with this too.

i'm 35.

two years ago i dated a 49 year old for a few months. it didnt matter that he was older, as he was pretty stylish and sexy. (total freak though). after three months he started to piss me off because he was too superficial.

i was hanging out with a 52 year old the beginning of the year as a friend, but eventually he watned to make it romantic which i wasn't into, and then when he didnt get his way i suddenly became "Immature".

also, i dated a 52 year old last year for a minute or two, he was HOT, and alot of fun (not to mention loaded).

and, i just met a wonderful 49 year old at Wanee....

i thnk when you have enough in common, and there is an atttaction, go for it.

so, IMHO, ten years isnt that much. i've never really dated men my age till very recently.....and at your age Sairia, i recommend going to the older guys for now. its not like you are going to be marrying him right out of the gate so i wouldnt worry about it, have fun, be safe and ENJOY!



[Edited on 5/3/2007 by LinnieXX]

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:01 AM
my wife is 8 years younger than me and we have been married 33 years...just depends on the two people, you have to have common ground and you can NOT pick on the faults of the other, if what you are looking for in a man are in older more mature men then there ya go..

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:01 AM
Age doesn't matter until you get old.

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:03 AM
quote:
my wife is 8 years younger than me...



craddle robber...

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:04 AM
also, health matters are important too. if a guy takes care of himself that makes a big difference. Diet, excercise, etc.

it does strike me that if i do hook up with a 50 year old that in 15 years, they will be 65 when i'm 50. that doesnt seem so bad.

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:05 AM
That's fine for me. What were you thinking about? Dinner and a movie?

Buhda

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:05 AM
that makes sense linnie... so how is the one doing that you met at wanee?

 

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When the music starts to playin

She slides out on the floor

Dancing without a partner

Swaying on the two and four



There's a rythym in her footsteps

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A smile on her face

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Where she don't have a care


 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:05 AM
I don't think the ages should mix.

Actually I don't think age means much anymore. Of course, that really depends on the age difference and the ages involved, but I'm 26 and have dated women 5 or 10 years older than myself and it's been fine. Conversely, I would have a hard time dating someone 5 years younger (or 10 years younger, cause, well, it's illegal and all). As people get older age is much less of a factor, as the differences start to even out. It really just matters that you're both in the same place and after the same things. A lot of people my age have personal careers and goals they want to accomplish, which causes conflicts in relationships, be it with like ages or not. However, some peoples' maturity is 10 years different in one direction or the other, so if an immature 35 year old finds happiness with a mature 22 year old, so be it. As long as one of them isn't the others' teacher.

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:07 AM
I won't pressure you into sex.........mainly 'cause I can't do it that often anymore.

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:07 AM
quote:
quote:
my wife is 8 years younger than me...



craddle robber...


Guilty... but it was oH so much fun!!!!!

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:14 AM
quote:
I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day
Still could manage a smile
Sure takes a while, just takes a while

A Pirate Looks at Forty
by Jimmy Buffett



btw, my wife is 12 years younger than me, and we'll be celebrating our 17th Wedding Anniversary on June 1st. On top of that, we dated and lived together for 8 years before getting married. So that's 25 years together.

 
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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:16 AM
i will warn you that a lot of times the older guys will just want some 'arm candy'.......which you totally qualify for, so be careful.

my opinion: go for it!



[Edited on 5/3/2007 by LinnieXX]

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:22 AM
trick or treat...

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:26 AM
quote:
i will warn you that a lot of times the older guys will just want some 'arm candy'.......which you totally qualify for, so be careful.

my opinion: go for it!



[Edited on 5/3/2007 by LinnieXX]
like you...

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:29 AM
There will always be those that go for somebody younger simply because they are younger. The arm candy thing is a true scenario. But hopefully, folks are a little deeper than that. My take on it is, is there a true connection? Would you want him or her whether they were younger than you, the same age, or older than you? Be yourself, have that 'spark' and curiousity about life no matter what age you are, do your best, and let them go if that is what happens, and see if they come back to you. If not-do your best and move on and don't be an ass about it unless the other one is disctinctively evil. be positive, but you can't force it. But, if the connection is there and the only reason you don't go for it is their age, that is up to you to figure out.

Derek

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:34 AM
quote:
If not-do your best and move on and don't be an ass about it unless the other one is disctinctively evil.


and what happens then?

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:39 AM
Most of the replies seem to be younger women/older men...what about the other way around...other than porkchopbob, who is 26...what about 40 plus year old guys going after 50 plus year old women...anyone got any stories?

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:44 AM
quote:
Lately it seems like everyone I have been meeting is at least 10 years older than me.... and I was just wondering age really does matter..??
Yes, because those of us who went to school back before the invention of the internets learned to write in a whole 'nother way. F'rinstance, we woulda written part of the quoted sentence like so:
"than me, and I was just wondering whether age really does matter."

DANCINGGIRL, that was honestly my first reaction to having to read your sentence multiple times to see whether I was misreading it. I'm including my reaction in this post, though, not mostly to bust you but to make a bit of a point.

Your annoyance, or just discomfort, at my response (the likes of which should not often occur in real life, but there is nevertheless always the risk) is just a small taste of the incompatibility issues that are more likely to rise in a mixed relationship (between generations) . In a relationship, you're always going to have disagreements over this and that, and the more dissimilar the backgrounds, the more each person will tend to think the other person is wrong about stuff--maybe just a little innocent ignorance, or maybe way off base in ways that would adversely affect the children--and the less acceptable or tolerable the wrongness will be.

The fact that I'd be provoked, myself, by a younger generation's slack cyber style of literacy might be a warning sign to me, too, that no matter how charming and invigorating and physically attractive a younger lady might be, there will be these other compatibility issues that will have to be dealt with. (Anyway, regarding suboptimum literacy: The worst speller I'm in touch with, for example, is about my age, and she's preemptively apologized for it--unsolicited--on several occasions. I've never call her on it, though, unless I really, really can't figure out what she's talking about. [Of course, if she's concerned that she's misspelling all over the place, I don't understand why she doesn't quickly look stuff up in a dictionary. But then, I don't think she and I would be compatible when it comes to actual problem solving, so I don't offer my solution. ])

Of course, compatibility is maybe not so much an age thing as a male-female thing. Maybe just plain a person-to-person thing! It depends how much each person wants to assert his or her own will, as opposed to communicating. I tease you at the top of the post, DG, but I'm unanimously the favorite uncle of all my nephews and nieces (last I heard, but I blew off the last semireunion), so with love of course it's possible to overcome dissimilar generational and subcultural backgrounds.
quote:
My parents just recently divorced and they were 15 years apart... I think the age difference was a factor.
Sorry about your folks, DANCINGGIRL. It'd be interesting--and maybe healing for you--to explore some of the attitudinal and behavioral differences that might be due to the age difference. Some of it would be from growing up in different generational settings and how different expectations rubbed off on each of them. Not to say that your mom and dad totally conformed to the ways of their respective generations, but there might have been some influence.

Also, some of their problems related to age would be from now being in somewhat different stages of life and maybe health. Now, if a younger lady wants to be committed to an older guy--for the sake of balance, let's call him a gentleman--there will ultimately be health and widowhood issues. My mom was 11 years younger than my dad, and she was widowed way too early.

God bless you and your siblings.

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:54 AM
My feeling - age doesn't matter unless it's an issue for you. Personally, I like men my own age and older simply because we've had similar life experiences and can relate on that level. But I've dated younger men, too. I think you are still fairly young DancingGirl so I would say go for it with the older guys - they usually, ummmmm, 'understand' things about a woman that younger ones may not.

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:55 AM
quote:
quote:
that makes sense linnie... so how is the one doing that you met at wanee?


well, he lives in jax....i live in philly......so i'll heading down to Jax on Memorial Day. more will be revealed! I think we are both just looking for some good-not-so-clean fun, since we both have a lot in common and there is a chemistry (that i have to admit, i didnt expect).


You mean you're dating Deano!!!

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:56 AM
quote:
You mean you're dating Deano!!!
LMAO!
(ummm - you're not, right? Can't help it Linnie - this just reminded me of one of his posts that he directed some gibberish your way.)

[Edited on 5/3/2007 by lolasdeb]

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:58 AM
By the way ... I was 26 and my wife was 20 when we first met ... still together after 29 years

 

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  posted on 5/3/2007 at 10:58 AM
Don't forget the "real" south... the deepest south. Just a few more miles.

 

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