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Author: Subject: Don't EVER Try and Rope a Deer!

Extreme Peach





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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 12:29 PM
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.





I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up...3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it. It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.



The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.



The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.



At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to back in between my truck and the feeder...a little trap I had set beforehand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.



Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head...almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.



That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that the re is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.



Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.



Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling "what happened"



I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear....not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer." I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there.



I asked him to call somebody to come get me...I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did.



Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could...I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something. EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider...a "city folk"...I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the dumb-ass that tried to rope the deer."

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 12:39 PM
Silly city slicker

 

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A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 12:47 PM
when deer are in rut, they can be extremely agressive and territorial. Even the hand raised ones... Someone I know works in wildlife sanctuary and for years had cleaned and fed the same deer in the pasture. Somehow the buck (whitetail) cornered him by the feed stall and gored him with his antlers and hooves within an inch of his life.

 

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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 12:59 PM
In the age of high tech _________(whatever you'd like), it's so refreshing to know that, even today, there are fine people such as goldtopper, still broadening our horizons.

Lesson learned, brother...lesson learned!!

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 01:03 PM
I take it you don't hunt.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 01:06 PM
quote:
Did you know that deer bite?


my sister got bit by a moose once...........

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 01:11 PM
oh my goodness there are some really funny things in that story goldtopper! good stuff.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 01:19 PM
Experience has taught us that a twelve gauge is much safer than a rope.

Just ask my son:

 

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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 01:29 PM
quote:
I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run
ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh, goldtopper - only March and already I believe I may have just read the post of the year! I can only imagine the looks you've been receiving in town (do mother's cover their childrens eyes and guide them to the other side of the street?) Thanks for sharing this story! I'm in tears and in process of sending it on (btw - where in Kansas? I used to live in ElDorado, Wichita, Garden City - just want to see if I know any of your neighbors). Oh yeah - it's Rope a STEER, not deer. LOL

 

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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 02:20 PM
Goldtopper,

You really want to collect that "Darwin award", don't you.

 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 02:33 PM
I haven't laughed that hard in a long time

Thanks for sharing

Course I think this thread belongs in the Whipping Post

[Edited on 3/8/2007 by hoochiecoochiegirl]

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 02:50 PM
Ha Ha Ha...LMAO...what a tale. You surely must be a city slicker.
Glad you wernt hurt more as deer are very dangerous when aroused.
In every way. I gotta tell this story to the guys at the hunt camp...
spdb

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 02:52 PM
I think we have our first contender for Funniest Post in next years Peachy Awards.

 

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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 02:55 PM
As a very accomplished deer killer i have never laughed at one mans misery so hard.OMG that has to be post of the year and if there was video you would be a millionaire Goldtopper...too freeking funny...this time a year is not good for roping them anyway as you get two for one try early winter next time they might co operate.. lol well written and well played you got Guts son....

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 03:11 PM
quote:
quote:
Did you know that deer bite?


my sister got bit by a moose once...........



Moose bites hurt too....




















....the producers would like to report that those responsible for the credits have been sacked!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 03:22 PM
Something like this?

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 03:29 PM
quote:
I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I bet he was thinking the same thing.
And he didn't know what was going on like you did!
Did someone say humans are at the TOP of the ladder?

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 03:35 PM

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 03:35 PM

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 03:40 PM
Another oddity is headed to Key West Fl just before you get to KW there is a strict 35 mph zone because of a heavy deer population. HTF did they get there. you have to cross 7 mile bridge ??


 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 03:59 PM
OMG! That's freakin' HILARIOUS!! But I feel your pain. When I was 2 years old, I was at our local co-op, and one of the folks there had a hand-raised deer. That b@st@rd reared up, knocked me down, and started pawing me. Very scary experience for a toddler. Effin' Walt Disney!!

 

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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 04:08 PM
Sorry to laugh at your misfortune, but that is just histerical and the way you told the story is definitely in line for an award. Glad you didnt get hurt!!!

BDOB, that video is freekin scary!! I never thought a deer could be so vicious. I always thought they were gentle creatures, but hey, what do I know, Im a city girl.

Thanks for sharing goldtopper!!

 

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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 04:10 PM
quote:
Too late, goldtopper. We have pictures.





LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 04:24 PM
Well, city folks can be entertaining, to say the least. Deer are gentle?? Hilarious. I wish I could have been there for that one. I'd a been rooting for the deer, I believe, but I would have helped you. On the other hand, I've seen some country boys do some stupid things as well. One friend of mine tried to transport a large goat in the back seat of his 1977 Dodge Dart, and the damn thing ate up his backseat, and another feller transported a pony from Florida to Ohio in a van with mixed results.

Another time I came across a raccoon that had gotten his head stuck in a mason jar. That was a trip.

I used to feed my buddy's cows beer, because they love it. They'd see me walking down the lower road with a beer in my hand and would follow me and want some and make a racket. One time we were tightening some fence line and set our beers down and a few minutes later looked up to see that the cow had picked the beer bottle up with his mouth and was leaning his head back trying to get every drop out of it. A crackup.

Good story, Goldtopper. You ought to take that one to Elko for the Gathering one year.

DH

 

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  posted on 3/8/2007 at 04:25 PM
quote:
Too late, goldtopper. We have pictures.
LMAO - this story has pretty much ruined me for the day (keep thinking about it then the giggles start up again) and this last picture is not helping things! LOL

 

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