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Author: Subject: OF Sheep, and Scotsmen (& Kiwis)

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 08:43 AM
Okay.
Somebody Had to do this, so I'm volunteering.

Linnie, move the sheep verses women here, so it won't be cluttering up Blueboy's great topic no more.....(and we May be forgiven....)

I've gotta penfriend in Aussieland who loved it when I passed it along, and he sent me a great counter something....I'll post here, later. (and no more sheep at Blueboys,...I'm behaving......no feeding trolls, no more OT sheep-teasing outta paddock) Oh, yeah, did I mention we Finally got some of our vacation photos of Ireland, from last Spring off my memory chip and into real photos...just today,........32 out of 487......the girl in the line behind us started snarling......so we'll go back, later, and print more....)
Well, there were lotsa 'sheep' in paddocks (stone corrals/pastures) there....

In the meantime, park/corral all yor 'sheep' here and we'll start a Sadie Hawkin's party...
(We'll, I Do recall one of the guys was looking for a cheap date,...no, that was 'sheep' date......)

(Does Anyone, but me, remember Lil Abner ?....that was 'Sadie Hawkins, not Stephen Hawking )

 
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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 09:12 AM
Hiya Wind!

well, i'd just as soon leave Derek's poem about sheep fellatio there, since I feel like blowing chunks whenever i read it....

quote:
we'll start a Sadie Hawkin's party...
(We'll, I Do recall one of the guys was looking for a cheap date,...no, that was 'sheep' date......)


ok. that means we can ask out who we want to, and they have to say yes? awesome.

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 10:23 AM
Uh, I Think it means the sheep can say 'no'........
 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 10:35 AM
(From my friend in Aussie Land)

AUSTRALIAN VALENTINES POEM

Of course I love ya darlin'

You're a bloody top-notch bird,

And when I say you're gorgeous

I mean every single word.

So ya bum is on the big side

I don't mind a bit of flab,

It means that when I'm ready

There's somethin there to grab.

So your belly isn't flat no more I tell ya,

I don't care,

So long as when I cuddle ya

I can get my arms round there.

No Sheila who is your age

Has nice round perky breasts,

They just gave in to gravity

But I know ya did ya best.

I'm tellin ya the truth now

I never tell ya lies,

I think it's very sexy

That you've got dimples on ya thighs.

I swear on me nanna's grave now

The moment that we met,

I thought U was as good

as I Was ever gonna get.

No matter wot U look like

I'll always love ya dear,

Now shut up while the footy's on

And fetch another beer!








 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 11:07 AM
well, as much as i'd like to give up on men sometimes, i'm just really not ready to 'go there' yet........

however, with a few drinks in me, there is no telling what could happen!

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 12:20 PM



Where Men are Men and the sheep were scared..............

[Edited on 2/23/2007 by rottinpeach]

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 01:31 PM
quote:
well, as much as i'd like to give up on men sometimes, i'm just really not ready to 'go there' yet........

however, with a few drinks in me, there is no telling what could happen!


Ya know, there's a book that came out, years ago, called "Cucumbers are Better than Men, because.........."

(I HAVE the book....around here, Somewhere in my woodsy library,...or did....go check out the veggie counter....I've seen a Number of good substitutes available, cheap.....just buy other groceries, like more salad fixin's, otherwise someone's gonna leer at ya in the checkout line, and Don't ask how I know,.......) (I'm still at the library, and just showed this to husband #3.....he laughed, and went back to his book,....something called "Darwin's God")

Oh, and I got that Certificate saved on a floppie.
I'll get my son to print out me a color copy of it...

COOL Certificate,....! Bow Bow Bow (somehow, that just doesn't sound right.....)

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 03:24 PM
Why Cucumbers Are Better Than Men

1. A cucumber a day keeps the ob-gyn away.
2. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
3. A cucumber doesn't care if you always spend the holidays with your family.
4. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower.
5. A cucumber doesn't have softball practice on the day you move.
6. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
7. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hair spray.
8. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
9. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
10. A cucumber never has to call "the wife".
11. A cucumber never leaves the toilet seat up.
12. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
13. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
14. A cucumber never wants to improve your mind.
15. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
16. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers
in the refrigerator.
17. A cucumber won't ask "Am I the first?".
18. A cucumber won't ask for a transfer just when you're up for promotion.
19. A cucumber won't ask to be put through Medical school.
20. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
21. A cucumber won't come home late, stinking of beer.
22. A cucumber won't consume all your food or liquors.
23. A cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival.
24. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn or send you out to get Milk Duds.
25. A cucumber won't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
26. A cucumber won't fall asleep too soon.
27. A cucumber won't give it up for Lent.
28. A cucumber won't grab cash from your purse while you're asleep.
29. A cucumber won't insist the little cukes be raised catholic, jewish,
or orthodox vegetarian.
30. A cucumber won't leave town on New Year's Eve.
31. A cucumber won't lie to you about having a vasectomy.
32. A cucumber won't make you go to the drugstore.
33. A cucumber won't make you sleep on the wet spot.
34. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother
comes over.
35. A cucumber won't need to be sucked off.
36. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
37. A cucumber won't run off with a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
38. A cucumber won't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy.".
39. A cucumber won't take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy blonde.
40. A cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually.
41. A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't matter.
42. A cucumber won't want to come on your face.
43. A cucumber won't want to join your support group.
44. A cucumber won't wear shorts to your office party.
45. A cucumber won't work your crossword with ink.
46. with a cucumber, you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during
the flu season.
47. All cucumbers are fresh and juicy.
48. At a drive-in, you can stay in the front seat.
49. Cucumbers are very easy to pick up.
50. Cucumbers aren't into leathers and chains, talking dirty,
or swinging with fruits and nuts.
51. Cucumbers aren't into meaningful conversations.
52. Cucumbers aren't jealous.
53. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
54. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
55. Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the
wet spot.
56. Cucumbers can't count to "10".
57. Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do.
58. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.
59. Cucumbers don't get too excited.
60. Cucumbers don't have sex hangups.
61. Cucumbers don't jam the freezer with food you don't like.
62. Cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
63. Cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest,
or drool on the pillow.
64. Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month.
65. Cucumbers don't mind if you enjoy them and a movie at the same time.
66. Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves.
67. Cucumbers don't tell you they like you better with longer hair.
68. Cucumbers never asnwer your phone or borrow your car.
69. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
70. Cucumbers never have mid-life crisis.
71. Cucumbers never have to tell you what they did while on vacation.
72. Cucumbers never need a round of applause.
73. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
74. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
75. Cucumbers won't give you a hickey.
76. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.
78. Cucumbers won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub.
79. Cucumbers don't care if you are a virgin.
80. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
81. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin anymore.
82. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
83. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
84. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall.
85. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
86. No matter how you slice it, you can always have your cuke and eat it too.
87. No matter what age group you are in, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
88. Nobody calls you a bigot for having a favorite kind of cucumber.
89. The average cucumber is at least seven inches long.
90. The cucumbers you raise don't desert you.
91. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
92. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
93. With cucumbers you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
94. You always know where YOUR cucumber has been.
95. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
96. You can keep as many cucumbers as you want.
97. You don't have to wait until halftime to talk to your cucumber.
98. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
99. Your mother won't flip out finding a cucumber in your house.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----100. A cucumber will never call and say, "I have to work late, honey." ...
... and then come home with the smell of Channel No. 19 on him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----101. Cucumbers don't stay up until 4 and then demand that you take care of
them when they get sick...
...But on the other hand, cucumbers stay up ALL THE TIME.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----102. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover...
...or speculate about your next.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----103. With a cucumber you can get a single room...
... and you won't have to check in as "Mrs." Cucumber.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----104. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket...
...and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----105. You can go to movie with a cucumber...
... and see the movie.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----106. A cucumber will never leave you for...
(a) another woman.
(b) another man.
(c) another cucumber.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----107. A cucumber never...
(a) snaps your bra.
(b) pinches your butt.
(c) gives you a snuggy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----108. A cucumber will never...
(a) contest a divorce.
(b) demand a property settlement.
(c) seek custody of _anything_.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----109. Afterwards, a cucumber won't...
(a) want to shake hands and be friends.
(b) say, "I'll call you a cab.".
(c) tell you he's not the marrying kind.
(d) tell you he is the marrying kind.
(e) call his mother, ex-wife, or therapist.
(f) take you to confesion.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----110. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your...
(a) gynecologist.
(b) ski instructors.
(c) tennis instructors.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----111. Cucumbers won't ask...
Am I the best?
How was it?
Did you come?
How many times?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----112. Cucumbers won't make you...
(a) wear kinky clothes.
(b) go to be with your boots on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----113. You won't find out later that your cucumber...
(a) is married.
(b) is on penicillin.
(c) likes you, but loves your sister.
(d) likes you, but loves your brother.
(e) trying to screw your sister.
(f) has AIDS.

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 03:27 PM
quote:
Where Men are Men and the sheep were scared..............
ROTFLMAO - on the pic and this whole thread!!!

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 03:31 PM
I kinda like whisker burn actually.

And I'm there for the John Wayne Film Festival!!

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 03:46 PM
Sadie Hawkins DayFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sadie Hawkins Day was a day-long event in Al Capp's comic strip Li'l Abner observed in the United States on the Saturday that follows November 9, named after Sadie Hawkins, "the homeliest gal in all them hills." Each year on Sadie Hawkins Day, the unmarried women of Dogpatch pursued the single men. If a woman caught a man and dragged him back to the starting line by sundown, he had to marry her.


man i tell ya, if you have to catch a man and drag him anywhere, you ain't getting off to a good start.......


oh, and this little tidbit is a bit odd.

Usually, female and male partners choose to wear the same or extremely similar clothes in order to match. At a Sadie Hawkins dance, couples are easily distinguishable because of their matching clothes.

[Edited on 2/23/2007 by LinnieXX]

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 03:47 PM
i suppose a week or two later they should have some other type of day, where you get to drag them back to the finish line and leave 'em there

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 03:52 PM

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 04:02 PM
I'm glad all of you think this kind of love is funny........and it was a poem about castration , nut a lanolin hummer. Big difference.

Past that-to hell with Sadie Hawkins.

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 04:11 PM
quote:
Past that-to hell with Sadie Hawkins.


ooooh but i was gonna ask YOU! damn. oh well.......NEXT!

quote:
and it was a poem about castration , nut a lanolin hummer.


castration by fellation.

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 04:29 PM
quote:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
Past that-to hell with Sadie Hawkins.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----



ooooh but i was gonna ask YOU! damn. oh well....


Yeah, that'd be a good time. It'd be like having a dinner date conversation with 'Wilson,' the soccer ball from the movie "Cast Away."

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 04:38 PM
booo! hiss!!!

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 05:23 PM
This is one WEIRD thread.

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 09:50 PM
quote:
This is one WEIRD thread.


Depends on where you're coming from....
Amongst re-inactors........with men-in-kilts in our midst, it's perfectly normal conversation to be hearing,.......especially LATE on a Saturday night when the beer keg has been replaced several times with fresh ones......

One year,... (in Macon, no less, at Lake Tobesofkee) I was at a party at one camp, and we kept hearing an extremely noisy party going on almost a quarter mile away.......curiosity finally got the better of us and we abandoned our own and went to see what was so blamed 'entertainingly funny..........Those Florida women are Wild !!!

They had a huge bonfire, and 14 guys lined up facing the tennis court fence......
There had been heavy amounts of alcohol consumed, and it was, by this time, about 2 am, and their party still going strong.

The guys ?
Being female appreciated,...uh,...judged......judges had been elected (all female) and the volunteer males were being judged on 'best buns' with applause the ultimate deciding factor....not by the judges, but by the party-attenders...the judges were merely there for hands-on judging and offering opinions.....there was a 'Scotsman' in the line-up and the ladies in the audience wanted to know if he was 'man' enough to be 'regimental'...

The judges asked him.
He assured them he KNEW his Scottish History.....he believed in wearing his garb (clothes) according to 'tradition'.....

There had been SO much alcohol that had been consumed by almost all, by that time (None by me, I proudly don't drink, but I can appreciate folks making fools out of themselves, who have been.....) anyway, calls (female,....most of the shyer menfolk were off in the Middle Eastern Encampment, watching the belly dancers....)from the crowd, demanded 'proof' of the Scotsman's claim.....He was a proud man,.....and he fully intended to win that contest ......Yep,....he was regimental all right.....

Alas, this was a fair contest, and the Scotsman simply didn't win.
He left the fence rather disgusted, uh, disappointed.......

Now before you go fussing at me, for starting the thread,.......(after my first, award-winning thread post on this site)......I need to say that (1) there was a need for this one.
Homeless sheep were popping up on threads where they didn't belong.....I merely provided them a place to be appreciated.
and (2) My first thread had 'Serious-written-all-over-the-place'

Believe me, THIS thread would have whole-heartedly met with C's approval, where-as the very first one he just woulda shook his head about it as too darn depressing......
He was not a shy man.
Had he lived, he would have been the very first volunteer up against that fence, and stone sober at that......he was nothing else, if not a man with a wickedly mischievous sense-of-humor, and a delight in pleasing the ladies......

That said,...I vote we Don't use words like castration here.......yuck !!
When H. and I took his cat to have that done, H. apologised to 'Missy' the whole trip home...."I'm So sorry,......but better you, than me...." (Then he apologised to his cat for that statement....)
(I was personally un-aware that 'he'd' been in any way considered a candidate for the procedure,....... )

PS....I actually Have a DVD of Lil Abner and the Sadie Hawkin's Day Race !!!
Cute as heck.

Oh, and what was that about a man ya gotta chase not being worth catching ?
(My lady mother told me a 'secret' she said all grown females 'knew'.....
"We pick the man we want, then we chase him til he catches us")

Dang. I haven't thought of that since she told me when I was about 20

Did I mention I'd chased my H. ?
Well, he innocently showed some interest, and I'd seen him around for Years and thought him cute... (I do so LOVE a purty man !!!)...he liked my company......but never wanted to marry, Anyone. I convinced him otherwise, and Now he panics everytime he thinks I'm not happy being wed,.....

There is Nothing to compare to making a convert out of a sworn bachelor !!!.......He had thought he'd lose so much freedom.......happily married men don't view things that way.

I still get (receive, from him) flowers once a week......tell me another woman, Anywhere, who can make that claim......was he worth chasing ? Yeah. (and he's still cute, too)

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 10:26 PM
You don't drink??????????

 

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  posted on 2/23/2007 at 11:17 PM
quote:
You don't drink??????????


No.

Why should I 'do' that ?

Man, people drinking have NO idea how funny they are to those of us who don't....

I was at a party once where I suddenly realized I was being followed every time I went to the kitchen.
I finally asked 'why' ?

The guy who had followed me, says "Well, they told me you don't drink,....but I told them (he was relatively new to the singles group) that there was no-way in hell you weren't drinking....and I was gonna Prove it!!!"

I just laughed at him.
"Well, what's your verdict ?"

"I dunno,....I coulda Sworn you were,.....but I'll be darned if I've seen you drink anything but cokes I've watched you open.....".......

And that's all he was gonna see.

With-in the (often heavy drinking, uh, party-ing) re-inactors culture, I'm also well-known as a non-drinker....offer it, and I may taste it, just wetting my lips, but you'll never be able to see me doing any of those adjetives (can't spell it) that imply enthusiastic partaking of the vine or keg.....

I love to party.
But, for me, that means staying sober, but with a twist.....I'm one of those lucky individuals who can get ...hmmmmm, how to word this so it makes sense.....I have the ability to 'pick up' on other folks' emotions.........if people around me are drunk, I can get pretty 'high' on their buzz......the drunker the crowd, the better my buzz......and I'm a 'happy not drunk'.......i.e. I get horribly giggly, very flirty.....that alone, tends to get folks to watching me closely, Sure they've been misinformed....nooo I'm just a cheap date and a fun-loving party animal..... It's Great camoflage (sp).......but, by the next morn, I have to steer well clear of the folks with the hang-overs, 'cause I can pick up on that, too.

Personality-wise, though....I'm a work-a-holic artistic type who Loves my solitude, away from all the clutter that comes from being around folks.

I've been lucky enough to of had two husbands who share the need for solitude, but between them one didn't drink, and the other does.

Anyway, why'd ya ask ?

 

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  posted on 2/24/2007 at 01:53 AM
Y'all know why Scotsmen wear kilts, don't cha?

Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

 

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  posted on 2/24/2007 at 12:18 PM
quote:
Middle Eastern Encampment, watching the belly dancers....)


wow, do they really have those?

 

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  posted on 2/26/2007 at 01:09 AM
quote:
quote:
Middle Eastern Encampment, watching the belly dancers....)


wow, do they really have those?




Belly Dancers ????
SURE !!!
And drummers.

The re-inactors will gladly teach you either art.
I've been trying to tell ya...NO BODY knows how to 'party' like we do !!!

We're all about research/study etc.......but when we get together on week-ends, come Saturday night, after the huge King Arthurian-type feast,.....the drinkers haul out the beer, wine, mead, etc. and the musicinas haul out the drums if they're gonna be at a Middle-Eastern party, or the guitars, etc and songbooks if at a European revel (party)

......the later and drunker it gets, the more likely things will deteriorate into music from the 60s, 70s, and 80s for all up die-hards who just refuse to go to bed (if it doesn't deterioriate into a skinny-dipping party, down at the lake, first....)

No drugs.
Drinking is fine, as long as everyone plays nice, but we don't tolerate drug use........(1) we just can't afford to have that associated with out group and (2) there's often kids and teens around, even at 2/3 am.

We're an unbelievable diverse group of folks.
ages 0-death, we play together with virtually no generation gaps, no gender or color lines,....it's SO cool !!!..........we have lowly auto mechanics and college professors, housewives and Municipal court judges, all getting along, respectfully, and potentially every color.......

But
Belly dancers ??????
Oh YEEEEEESSSSS !!!!!!!

The BIG WAr I'd told you about in PA every year,....?........has wandering 'bards' (Musicians) who carry their guitars, hammered dulcimers, harps, etc, from campt to camp to perform, for no other payment than a cold beer and plenty of enthusiastic appreciation.

But cha know what 'I" love the VERY best ?
When the guys (musicians) who favor Irish music gather for a jam session !!!!!

Some are professionals.
others aren't but welcome to join in.
Get 12- 20-something half-drunk, VERY talented musicians out there in the woods, near a bon fire, with fiddles, Bohran drums, penny whistles, etc. etc. having fun....and oh lordy....talk about getting 'high' on music !!!!!....man, you can absolutely reach the tree-tops with what they'll stir in you !!!!!......the laughter and clapping and whooping and knee-slapping/foot stomping in time to the music...........there CANNOT be a drink, or drug, to compare with where that kinda music can take you !!!!!

And, now, y'all know what I Really get off on......
(and a certain Scotsman named Gerard Butler........H. found me a magazine, today, with G.B. on the cover and pages of pix, inside,.........man,.....do I have dream plans ta night !!!!

Linnie,....the ceremonies are done. When ya get rested up,...mail
Missed ya.
D. too.

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 2/26/2007 at 08:21 AM
well i can totally handle a belly dancer type of re-enactment.......but i sorta have an 'issue' recreating war events and what not....i sorta feel like they are bad enough one time around let alone another time. whatever floats your boat though! it sure does sound like a party.

i love irish music too......i found out when i was an adult that my family is 1/4 Irish......boy, did that answer a few questions!




 

____________________
you know there just ain't no telling

what a satisfied girl will do.

 
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