Don't click or your IP will be banned


Hittin' The Web with the Allman Brothers Band Forum
You are not logged in

< Last Thread   Next Thread >Ascending sortDescending sorting  
Author: Subject: Break up and Love Letters?

Zen Peach





Posts: 19426
(20204 all sites)
Registered: 3/13/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 11:55 AM
Hello All!

i'm doing a performance piece this evening at a local theater and was hoping i could get some generic type of break up letters that you may have gotten or sent, as well as love letters.

I've got two or three already, amongst these lines;

Dear Mr. So and So:
>
>Well, there is good news and bad news from me today.
>
>First, the good news........i think you are great, and I'm really glad
>we met each other.
>
>Now, the bad news. My ex boyfriend and I are no longer "ex". We've
>worked out some issues and turned a corner, and have decided to become
>exclusive partners once again. I'm happy for me, and I feel bad about
>telling you like this, but since we really just started to get to know
>on another I figured this is easier....... I'm sorry if this upsets you
>in anyway. I was totally still stuck on him to begin with and probably
>had no business dating anyway.
>
>So, with that being said, I still would like to remain friends and
>would like to check in on you from time to time. Good luck with
>everything you do, I think you are a super person and quite as well.
>
>Good luck with everything,
Fondly,
The Girl




also, there will be a furious round of "Speed Dating" tonight that i'm Mc'ing.....any suggestions for some cute, funny questions to ask a date to really get to know them right away? Funny is good. Stuff like "do you floss?" and "whens the last time you clipped your toenails?"

thanks! have fun with it.


[Edited on 2/14/2007 by LinnieXX]

 

____________________
you know there just ain't no telling

what a satisfied girl will do.

 
E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage
Replies:

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 12324
(12447 all sites)
Registered: 2/25/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 12:06 PM
quote:
Hello All!

i'm doing a performance piece this evening at a local theater and was hoping i could get some generic type of break up letters that you may have gotten or sent, as well as love letters.

I've got two or three already, amongst these lines;

Dear Mr. So and So:
>
>Well, there is good news and bad news from me today.
>
>First, the good news........i think you are great, and I'm really glad
>we met each other.
>
>Now, the bad news. My ex boyfriend and I are no longer "ex". We've
>worked out some issues and turned a corner, and have decided to become
>exclusive partners once again. I'm happy for me, and I feel bad about
>telling you like this, but since we really just started to get to know
>on another I figured this is easier....... I'm sorry if this upsets you
>in anyway. I was totally still stuck on him to begin with and probably
>had no business dating anyway.
>
>So, with that being said, I still would like to remain friends and
>would like to check in on you from time to time. Good luck with
>everything you do, I think you are a super person and quite as well.
>
>Good luck with everything,
Fondly,
The Girl



Linnie,

Dont send this to me

 

____________________
"Political correctness is a doctrine -- fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rapidly promoted by mainstream media -- which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of $hit by the clean end."

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 19426
(20204 all sites)
Registered: 3/13/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 12:15 PM
thats not from/to/for/about me......

but not a problem bluedaddio!

now how about you post some of those love letters you sent to missus DooDaddio back when you was 'acourtin?

 

____________________
you know there just ain't no telling


what a satisfied girl will do.


 
E-Mail User

Peach Bud



Karma:
Posts: 34
(34 all sites)
Registered: 9/7/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 12:16 PM
Dear honey,

I got you a present.

It's a ticket to Dumpville; population You.

Most sincerely,
Me

 

World Class Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5463
(5472 all sites)
Registered: 12/14/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 12:54 PM
Dear Ex, Well that about sums it up. See ya!
 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 19426
(20204 all sites)
Registered: 3/13/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 12:57 PM
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!

these are good. Stonbw1, isnt that a Troy Mclure line?

 

____________________
you know there just ain't no telling


what a satisfied girl will do.


 
E-Mail User

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 11675
(12118 all sites)
Registered: 1/8/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 01:36 PM
To my future former girlfriend......

 

____________________
We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.

 

World Class Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5463
(5472 all sites)
Registered: 12/14/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 02:01 PM
This is just to let you know that you suck . . .

It's just that you're not that good.

 

Universal Peach



Karma:
Posts: 6203
(6212 all sites)
Registered: 1/12/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 03:22 PM
Do you listen to the Allman Brothers?

 

____________________


 

Universal Peach



Karma:
Posts: 6203
(6212 all sites)
Registered: 1/12/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 03:23 PM
quote:
http://www.porkjerky.com/breakup.htm


Hahaa too funny!!!

 

____________________


 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 82620
(82979 all sites)
Registered: 4/16/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 06:02 PM
quote:
http://www.porkjerky.com/breakup.htm


LMAO!!!

Actually, I should print this out and give it to her

 

____________________
RIP Cindy Fischer
RIP Hugh Duty
RIP John Ott

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 20227
(20241 all sites)
Registered: 9/22/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 06:19 PM
Try this one Linnie, found this on a coffee table one day when I got home from work a few years ago.


My Dear Jon May

I'm moving to St Louis to marry a man from through a Russian agency.
He's been in the US for 15 years now.
I will always love you.

K.....


This will work I guarentee Linnie !

 

____________________
If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. -Mahatma Gandhi.

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 20227
(20241 all sites)
Registered: 9/22/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 06:20 PM
quote:
Dear Ex, Well that about sums it up. See ya!



ROFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

____________________
If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. -Mahatma Gandhi.

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 19784
(21124 all sites)
Registered: 3/23/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 06:26 PM
quote:
quote:
http://www.porkjerky.com/breakup.htm


Hahaa too funny!!!


Dear John:

Not a day passes that you don't tell me how important I am or how much you love me, but those are just words. What I need are actions that convey how you can't live without me and would do anything to keep me. I need someone **** -house, loony-bin, arsonist crazy about me. Someone willing to do anything and everything to keep me.

John, that's just not you. While it does feel like you love me, it's not a smothering, obsessive, borderline psychotic love. Its more of an unneurotic, trusting, agape love with luke-warm infatuation at best. There's no jealousy, no vindicitiveness, no sense of possession. For christ sake, you haven't even given me a cell phone so you can call me when you need something important: Like knowing where I am all the time. Trust is nice, but is paranoia too much to ask in a relationship?

Honestly, John, in the 1 year that we have been together, how many times have you bashed a beer bottle over the head of some **** who made eye contact with me or accidentally brushed against me as they passed? Or peppersprayed an overfriendly sales clerk? I'll tell you how many times, the same number of times you carved my name into your arms with a razor blade and got it tatooed in cursive on your neck: None. You never even talk of ending your life in a world without me.

Sure, you'll probably cry over our breakup, be heartbroken for a month, but that's not good enough. The guy for me would call, start crying and begging to get back together. When that didn't work he'd threaten me, immediately apologize, and offer me money, jewelry, deviant sex or anything else I wanted to get back with him. When, I still rebuffed this dream guy of mine he'd turn suicidal and explain in graphic detail how he was going to kill himself. I would half-heartedly talk him out of it, at which point he'd blame it all on me. Finally, he'd keep repeating how he didn't need me, loudly curse me for being so worthless, threaten me and then slam the phone down.

The next day he would call, and we'd do it all over again. John, I'm not asking you to kill yourself if you lose me, but a half-hearted effort of washing a package of Dexatrim down with a bottle of Nyquil so you at least have to get your stomach pumped would be a nice gesture.

Sure, sure, you're caring, sweet, devoted, honest and loyal. Those are fine and all, but pathological is what I need. Someone who'd literally kill themself if they could no longer be with me; after they killed me that is. So, I must break up with you. The sad thing is, in a month's time, I probably won't catch you trying to follow me, you probably won't call me 122 times a day and hang up as soon as I answer, and you definetly won't even mail me a package containing a dissected animal and a picture of your dick with the phrase, "love is death and death is love" meticoulusly and randomly written all over it.

Jesus, John, you just dont get it do you? Sure, every girl unthinkingly says she wants a Romeo, but this Juliet needs hers to do his part to bring Act 5 Scene 3 to its conclusion.




Adieu,


Jane



P.S. I'm not saying you turned me gay, I'm just not saying you didn't.


Freakin' hilarious!!! LMAO!

 

____________________

 





Karma:
Posts: 2804
(0 all sites)
Registered: 7/29/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 09:15 PM


Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky


The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:


Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care, Ricky

 

____________________

 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 10380
(10391 all sites)
Registered: 4/16/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/14/2007 at 09:26 PM
dear john,
bye.
love renee

 

____________________
music cures watever ails you,,,,,,,,

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18593
(18594 all sites)
Registered: 11/20/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/15/2007 at 12:53 PM
quote:
http://www.porkjerky.com/breakup.htm
ROTFLMAO!!! This thing really works!!!

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

Peach Master



Karma:
Posts: 728
(728 all sites)
Registered: 3/31/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/15/2007 at 02:03 PM
Dear Johnetta,

It's over. It's done. Get on with your life.

P.S. Please don't tell mom.

 

____________________
I'm a full blooded Waneetian.

 

A Peach Supreme



Karma:
Posts: 2369
(2557 all sites)
Registered: 1/6/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/15/2007 at 07:07 PM
how did the evening go, Linnie?

this is probably too late but my first inclination is to find out how the person gets/got along with their parents....they generally are a reflection of their raising.

 

____________________
Unashamedly PEACHY!!

 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 11675
(12118 all sites)
Registered: 1/8/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/15/2007 at 07:34 PM
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,
and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are
dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

 

____________________
We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 19426
(20204 all sites)
Registered: 3/13/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/16/2007 at 08:55 AM
well, i'll be honest with you all:

The eveing was WONDERFUL!

i got up on stage, in front of 50 people, and said "HI! I'm Linnie, LinnieXX online....none of you probably know me, because i've been living most of my life online since 1996. I have met lots of interesting people online, and as a matter of fact MOST of the new people i meet i have corresonded with online first. I was talking with some of my cyber friends about the way that our relationships have changed as a result of the 'net.....and we found that YES, we do things differently now! for example, its not entirely uncommong amongst my group to feel as if you are falling in love with someone you have not even looked at yet.....and then when you meet them they are not exactly what you thought and you hate it. And, since you meet so many people online, its not uncommon to break up with them in email too!".

"As a result, for valentines day, i thought it would be fun to read some of the love and loss letters that we have crafted throughout the years.....now, some of these are from my life, some of them are not. A few of you in the audience will recognize which ones ARE from me, because they where sent to YOU (lots of laughs on that one since i had an ex boyfriend out in the audience that was the recipient of a break up email but i didnt read his). So anyway....here they go.....a look at love and loss in the cyber world!"

I got a huge reaction to the love letters and never had a chance to read some of the breakup letters since the show was running long and i didnt feel very well.

i also got to sing backup for a local favorite that used to huge in the punk scene here..."Mikey Wild". He did "Love Stinks" and me and my two friends sang the "Yeah Yeah Love Stinks" part as the "Rackettes" (the club is called Connies RicRac). we where dressed like the Supremes.

Anyway, it was fun, and very cool. I was impressed with the way the love letter was received, and am totally, and uterlly grateful to the person that inspired it and helped smooth it out for the stage. I've been thinking of coming up with a whole "bit" about THIS place, and some of the effen drama that goes on here!

LMFAO.

By the way, the porkjerkey site was awesome.....


Thank you all.

 

____________________
you know there just ain't no telling


what a satisfied girl will do.


 
E-Mail User
 


Powered by XForum 1.81.1 by Trollix Software


Privacy | Terms of Service
The ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND name, The ALLMAN BROTHERS name, likenesses, logos, mushroom design and peach truck are all registered trademarks of THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. whose rights are specifically reserved. Any artwork, visual, or audio representations used on this web site CONTAINING ANY REGISTERED TRADEMARKS are under license from The ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. A REVOCABLE, GRATIS LICENSE IS GRANTED TO ALL REGISTERED PEACH CORP MEMBERS FOR The DOWNLOADING OF ONE COPY FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. ANY DISTRIBUTION OR REPRODUCTION OF THE TRADEMARKS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE PROHIBITED AND ARE SPECIFICALLY RESERVED BY THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO.,INC.
site by Hittin' the Web Group with www.experiencewasabi3d.com