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Author: Subject: Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Zen Peach





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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 12:38 PM
Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your trash can on your desk and label it "In."

Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

Don't use any punctuation.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

Sing along at the Opera.

Go to a poetry recital. And ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"

When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

 

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"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 
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True Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 12:44 PM
...and keep posting on this site!

 

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We're all Bozos on this bus!

 

True Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 12:46 PM
quote:
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
good thing I've already been doing that...

 

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There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power government has is the power to crack down on criminals. When there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without br

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 12:49 PM
Ha, those are some good ones...

glueing quarters to the ground in malls is also fun...

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 12:54 PM
quote:
quote:
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

good thing I've already been doing that...




[Edited on 1/11/2007 by tuna]

 

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Taking care and knowing I am loved

 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 01:02 PM
Go into a bathroom in work that is close to a work area(not down the hall somewhere).Make loud grunting noises so people outside the door can hear you.Walk out holding an egg(hard boiled) in your hand,looking at it with an amazed look on your face.Go to your desk and eat the egg.

 

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Every time I think I have the world licked
Baskin-Robbins invents a new flavor of ice cream

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 01:13 PM
when i want a good chuckle, i ask my boss for a raise...

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 01:57 PM


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Drink myself smarter than everyone else.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 02:02 PM
quote:
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
good thing I've already been doing that...

yes, tuna - have heard you are a fine skipper. lol
silliness aside, though, this is a great way to embarrass your teenage children (or so I've been told...)

 

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"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

Sublime Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 02:58 PM
Here's a George Carlin classic:

1. Go to a Wishing Well
2. Find the Manager of the Wishing Well
3. Tell him (or her), (screaming), with veins popping out of your neck, "I'VE BEEN PUTTIN' MY MONEY IS THIS F*CKIN' WELL FOR TWENTY YEARS!! My wishes NEVER come TRUE!!!!!!!

 

____________________
Don't let the sounds of your own wheels
Drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to take your stand
And TAKE IT EASY

 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 03:00 PM
ROTFLMAO !!! Whew ! Oh boy those are RICH !!!

 

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"The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began."

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/11/2007 at 03:21 PM

silliness aside, though, this is a great way to embarrass your teenage children (or so I've been told...)


That's what gets me out of bed in the morning.

[Edited on 1/11/2007 by michaelsio]

 
 


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