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Author: Subject: Trouble at Berry Oakleys Grave

Peach Pit





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  posted on 3/1/2005 at 06:53 AM
My name is John and I have been an ABB fan for as long as I can remember. I have lived in Macon, GA my 23 years of life. I have frequented the grave site of Berry Oakley and Duane Allman for years. Last week my friend Amber told me that she went to Rose Hill to pay her respects to the two legends and was harassed by Berry Oakley’s sister (Candice Oakley) and her husband. She was trying to take pictures of the graves and the man took off his jacket and placed it over the tombstones. Then they got inches from her face and screamed obscenities at her. According to her they called her names such as “fat redneck, bitch, whore, white trash” and many other derogatory names. They said that they owned the gravesite and that she was trespassing. They scared her so badly she ran to her car and sped away.

When I heard of this, I had to experience it for myself. The next Saturday Amber and I drove back to Rose Hill. Amber was too afraid to get out of the car so I walked up to the gravesite. I stepped over the rope surrounding the gravesite and immediately a whistle was blown. This time it was only Candice’s husband. He ran from his truck screaming at me to leave at once. He got within 3 inches of my face and started to tell me that I was disgracing his family. I am 6’2 230 pounds, I felt physically intimidated. I thought that I was going to have to physically defend myself. If I had not recently been in a motorcycle accident I probably would of acted on this thought. I am glad that I didn’t. All the man did was take my picture and SCREAM at me at the top of his lungs. He was calling me every name in the book. He said he owned the gravesite and I replied for him to call the cops. To avoid anymore conflict I walked toward my car, he followed me to my car, still yelling, and took pictures of my license plate.

I plan to go back to the gravesite next Saturday and if this happens again I am going to call the cops. I also plan to contact my local news team and see if they can do a story on these nutcases.

Has this happened to anyone else? If so please contact me at JohnDAycock@gmail.com

What do yall think about this?


[Edited on 3/1/2005 by JohnAMacon]

 
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  posted on 3/1/2005 at 10:05 AM
wow.

its one thing to come to the grave to hang out, and quite another to want to pay your respects.

what a sad state of affairs.

 

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  posted on 3/1/2005 at 02:56 PM
This was talked about at length in a thread from ages ago -- not even sure if it's here in Berry's forum, Whipping Post or what. A lot of opinions were expressed and IMO would be worthwhile for you to find.
What LinnieX said.

 

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  posted on 3/1/2005 at 06:59 PM
Geez...

I don't know what else to say about it.

 

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  posted on 3/1/2005 at 11:02 PM
So who in Amber's family is, as she often stated when asked to leave the lot, "big in GABBA, so I can do what I want"?
PS: Your pictures are available, if you wish to see them.

 

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Peach Pit



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  posted on 3/2/2005 at 01:42 AM
While John's post is mostly correct, yours Jerry, is ridiculous. At no point during your crude verbal assault were the words " My family is big in GABBA, so I can do what I want ," spoken from my mouth. I am also suprised that you believe you were actually able to hear anything that came out of my mouth, given your incessant yelling and name-calling. I DID state that it is unfortunate that others have desecrated these graves, however, it is innappropriate and unjust for you to ruin the experience for everyone. Most importantly, those who merely want to pay their respects and have a picture to remember their visit by.

PS:We have some pictures too, if you wish to see them.

 

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  posted on 3/2/2005 at 03:55 AM
quote:
I stepped over the rope surrounding the gravesite and immediately a whistle was blown.

You shouldn't have done that. Were you trying to provoke them?

The day I visited those graves (summer '01, with friends and my father), Buford and Candace were not there. The reason was they had gone to the police - some earlier 'guests' had done shadings of the headstones and got blue crayon on them. This is expensive to remove and bad for the marble. There's also a GABBA cleanup crew that comes by sometimes to remove the debris other people leave, like beer cans and cigarette butts. The worst of it was that there used to be angels on the graves, and those were stolen, which is why something simpler is there now. So you can see what gets them so upset and protective, I think.

On the other hand, you're not the first fan to post a story like this at all. They do sometimes go after fans who got a serious hassle without doing anything wrong, just walking by to pay their respects. They're entitled to their view that the best way to pay tribute to the guys is to play the music (actually I think that's true, but I've been there myself, it's a pretty remarkable place, and I can't begrudge anybody for wanting to visit). On the other hand, they have a really low opinion of us. Maybe it's just because of the crap they've had to deal with, but I think it's too bad that they don't care to differentiate between real fans and jerks.

According to this thread, one out of a couple about incidents like these, Buford carries a gun. We know they've tried to put a tall fence with razor wire around the graves. The situation sucks all the way around. The behavior of some fans and other people is a total disgrace, and it doesn't sound like Candace and Buford have a lot to be proud of either.

[Edited on 3/2/2005 by Marley]

 

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  posted on 3/4/2005 at 12:23 AM
*The situation sucks all the way around. The behavior of some fans and other people is a total disgrace, and it doesn't sound like Candace and Buford have a lot to be proud of either.*

Are the two of them there THAT often? That's rather sad-you can understand their situation, but is Buford going to cap somebody b/c of it? Dunno.....really can't take sides. Don't like being threatened, but having a family's resting place desecrated is too much as well.

No wonder they put Lincoln's body underground in concrete.

When I went several eons ago, nobody was there. Don't think I saw any rope.....but to get a shading & etc.? Unreal.

The place is surreal though-you can walk around there & get "lost" for a while.

 

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  posted on 3/4/2005 at 01:31 AM

Went to visit the graves for the first time in 2004. Been wanting to pay my respects since the early 70's.

I plan on stopping again on my way to or from the Wanee festival. Only to again pay respects and reflect.


 

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  posted on 3/4/2005 at 01:57 AM
quote:
Are the two of them there THAT often? That's rather sad-you can understand their situation, but is Buford going to cap somebody b/c of it?

I guess nobody knows but them. It does sound that way, though. We were there at mid-day on a Monday.

 

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  posted on 3/5/2005 at 02:58 PM
i can only imagine that it must be a horribly painful waste of life to stand guard around a grave sight waiting to harrass visitors because you personally cannot acknowledge that Berry Oakley of The Allman Brothers Band is in fact a famous and beloved public figure....
and Rose Hill Cemetary is a public cemetary.....naturally this does not excuse any lowlifes stupidity regarding stealing, touching, etching headstones, leaving joints or other such unwanted crap on a family members final resting place......his family is deserving of respect too.....having said all this, from what i've heard, i believe the general consensus was that "she & he or they" and not 100% all here in the upstairs dept - so to speak......


 

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  posted on 3/7/2005 at 01:01 PM
One of the last times that I visited the graves I met Candace and Buford. I was with my wife, my sister and my brother-in-law. Candace and Buford were busy decorating the graves. Candace took the time to chat with me, and seemd to be pretty nice. Buford was stand-offish, but did talk about fishing with my brother-in-law (strong, mutual interest there).

Candace seemed genuinely concerned about the condition of the graves of Berry and Duane. She also seemd concered about the condition and upkeep of Rosehill Cemetary in general. Buford offered some rather negative comments about the surviving members of the ABB (no need to print them here).

I appreciate their concern and feelings about the graves. But after 30 + years, I wonder why they don't have better things to do with their weekends than baby-sit these graves.

 

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  posted on 3/7/2005 at 07:45 PM
Well, I don't know what it is like to have a famous sibling who died tragically at the pinnacle of his career. I imagine it was pretty traumatic for her. I am close to my sister, but I doubt she'd tend my grave as passionately as Candace. Just cremate me and throw my ashes to the wind.

 

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  posted on 3/8/2005 at 09:41 AM
I do think "The Allman Brothers Band,Inc." ought to address this matter so Duane and Berrys graves are professionally and properly cared for.......
 

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  posted on 3/10/2005 at 04:20 PM
Has anybody tried a telephoto lens or camera? My wife and I have an Olympus C-2100 with 10x zoom and it works really well, even though it's only 2.1 megapixels.

Download the digital images (or scan the photos if that's the medium you use) into a computer. I think Microsoft has some kind of image adjusting feature. We use Photoshop 7.0 (but Photoshop Elements should work well and cost a lot less) for professional reasons. It's incredible for a wide range of compensations (light levels, color balance, image rotation) and has fairly good image-sharpening capabilities.

Put the camera on a tripod and you're all set to go.

I would hope that anyone showing a reasonable amount of consideration, respect, and courtesy should not be approached by anyone.

Good luck!

Billastro

 

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  posted on 8/2/2005 at 02:07 PM
SIMPLE, JUST DON'T STEP OVER THE FENCE.
 

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  posted on 8/2/2005 at 09:35 PM
Its not your brother man, nor your property to step on. Keep your foot off of it and you might be alright...

 

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  posted on 8/3/2005 at 11:18 AM
Forum brother Bluedad just recently went by Rose Hill to pay respects to DA and BO, and while there, met Buford and Candace. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that it went well, everyone got along, and they basically stood there and chatted for an hour and a half. I think how you are received by Buford and Candace is all in how you approach the graves, and also the timing of any recent vandalism that may have been done to the graves. Bluedad told me he could see where someone had been using crayon to make rubbings on Brother Duane's headstone. People have also been chipping at the headstones and generally being a$$holes. Buford documents each time someone has been to the graves and damaged them, whether it's crayon, which by the way is hard as hell to get off of granite, or someone trying to dig up around the markers. Yes, some people has stooped so low as to try to enearth DA and BO's remains.

While there was a time I believed maybe Buford and Candace might have been loose cannons, I no longer believe that after the report Bluedad came back with. Buford and Candace are the caretakers of the final resting places of our two beloved founding brothers. They have every right to protect the plots, as they ARE private property. The cemetary may be public, but the plots themselves are small pieces of real estate. They are will within their rights to run off trespassers.

If you plan to visit Rose Hill, just use common sense and stay OFF of the plots. Stand close, but stay OUTSIDE the ropes. It's that simple.

 

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  posted on 8/3/2005 at 12:29 PM
It is private property, in the respects that they payed good money for the land that it sits on, but Candace told me a couple of weeks ago that the mass conglomerate of idiots that we call Macon's city government told her it was actually Public Property, which I dont understand.

 

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  posted on 1/23/2006 at 10:44 PM
quote:
Forum brother Bluedad just recently went by Rose Hill to pay respects to DA and BO, and while there, met Buford and Candace. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that it went well, everyone got along, and they basically stood there and chatted for an hour and a half. I think how you are received by Buford and Candace is all in how you approach the graves, and also the timing of any recent vandalism that may have been done to the graves. Bluedad told me he could see where someone had been using crayon to make rubbings on Brother Duane's headstone. People have also been chipping at the headstones and generally being a$$holes. Buford documents each time someone has been to the graves and damaged them, whether it's crayon, which by the way is hard as hell to get off of granite, or someone trying to dig up around the markers. Yes, some people has stooped so low as to try to enearth DA and BO's remains.

While there was a time I believed maybe Buford and Candace might have been loose cannons, I no longer believe that after the report Bluedad came back with. Buford and Candace are the caretakers of the final resting places of our two beloved founding brothers. They have every right to protect the plots, as they ARE private property. The cemetary may be public, but the plots themselves are small pieces of real estate. They are will within their rights to run off trespassers.

If you plan to visit Rose Hill, just use common sense and stay OFF of the plots. Stand close, but stay OUTSIDE the ropes. It's that simple.

 

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  posted on 1/23/2006 at 10:56 PM
I will not tollerate anyone going over the ropes (see what happened to the jacksonville graves of the L.S. boys )! no one has a right to go over the rope, you can visit-but be kind. my aunt's heart was broken when she lost her brother...then, 4 years later-her mother, her dad (my gampa) in october of 1997 (after years of rehabilitation), and then she almost lost me christmas of 1999. there is only so much a person can take...the band has never offered to pay for the upkeep and protection of the graves. gabba is not welcome, nor is a once a year sweep-up gonna do anything otther than encourage more "rubbings", it really does ALOT of harm...that marble is very delicate & hard to clean! thank you, everyone for the support and kind posts here, if you had anything nasty to say..then you should't be here-'cause dad didn't like creeps.

[Edited on 1/24/2006 by thedaughterofb.]

 

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  posted on 1/23/2006 at 10:57 PM


[Edited on 5/6/2006 by thedaughterofb.]

 

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  posted on 1/23/2006 at 11:27 PM
I still can't understand how anyone would want to mark the graves. The fact that we are able to go and pay our respects to both Berry and Duane is a great privilege. I will admit that I've wanted to visit before but am a bit nervous about getting yelled at. Although I'd never do more than just stand on the walkway, I'm not too sure if I'd be welcome or not. Maybe we can get a few of us from the Atlanta area to make a day of it, pay our respects and see some of the other sights(i.e. H&H, The Big House).

Still can't believe that I lived in Milledgeville, and worked in Macon for two years and never once went. Luckily, I'm still only about 70 miles away

 

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  posted on 1/24/2006 at 01:18 AM
ok, so what is this rope that dude stepped over? usually that is a line of demarcation denoting a BOUNDARY!! i would want to see the headstones up close too but if you can't just walk up to it, don't even try!
you know, some folks got no clue, some folks got no respect and some folks mean well and screw up. i suspect this situation is some of the 1st and 3rd of those.


there is a pic of ed king visiting the graves that shows the layout of the place pretty well. don't see any ropes or boundaries but that's an old picture.

look, i'm sure there is something on the forum about it somewhere but people should get the lowdown on what the family would like from the visitors. it is called paying your respects, after all.

my 2 cents!

peace,
richard


[Edited on 1/24/2006 by JazzBass]

 

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  posted on 1/24/2006 at 01:35 AM
How many of you would go to your father's, mother's, daughter's or son's graves and make rubbings or take photographs? I'll leave flowers at my father's grave, not take something away for personal satisfaction.

 

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