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Author: Subject: Play Rob's "How Schmaltzy Can You Get" Contest

Sublime Peach





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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 09:45 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRegS_rDwVo

I bet you CANNOT top this one: Close To You by The Carpenters

"Why do birds
Suddenly appear
Every time
You are near?
Just like me
They long to be
Close to you"

Oh My God.........no, no, no..........there goes my breakfast...............

I almost forgot the RULES, but I'll add them a little late:

1. You MUST post a video with at least audio of the song. Audio and video is better, but audio only at a minimum.
2. You MUST identify the artist and the song you are nominating. Some who already posted here did not.








[Edited on 3/31/2015 by robslob]

 

____________________
Don't let the sounds of your own wheels
Drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to take your stand
And TAKE IT EASY

 
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True Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 09:54 AM
good topic
yeah those come w/cheese-plus alright -- or these (don't remember well tho)

"there'll be birds singing everywhere
with the wind blowing though your hair
and I'll look into your eyes
and wait for the prize
on the Day We Fall In Love, you and me

BARF IT OUT
then it goes

"And, if the lines that I say fall apart
it's because I won't know where to start
But, I know you'll understand
because they come straight from my heart..." upchuck

Yep for a good laugh nothing beats the schmaltz

 

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"I know y'all came to hear our songs, we like to play 'em for you but without Gregg here it's really hard for us to do. He sings & plays so much & does such a good job. He's really sick, 103* He might've come, but no one would let him." Duane

 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 09:57 AM
Can't bring myself to even look for a video of this...

See the tree, how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig
Then the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy

Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly late, late show

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

Really?!

 

____________________
Well 30 years of heart and soul,lord we took it further than rock and roll.
We stood together thru thick and thin,yeah we made the best of it all back then.
Then I guess time took it's toll,cut me deep,cut me cold.
Brother against brother....

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 10:03 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhjYbfK9vrk

Dan Fogelberg
Same Old Lang Syne lyrics
Album: The Innocent Age


Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve

She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried.

We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totalled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged.

We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car.

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.

She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie.

I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw
Doubt or gratitude.

She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell.

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another 'auld lang syne'...

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away.

Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain --

[Edited on 3/27/2015 by LeglizHemp]

 

____________________
Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Who are all those people that he's locked away up there
Are they crazy?,
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?,
It has never been explained since at first it was created

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 10:07 AM
Bread - I want to make it with you

hey have you ever tried
really reaching out for the other side
I maybe climbing on rainbows
but baby here go's

dream are for those for sleep
life it's for us to keep
if you are wondering what this all is leading to
I want to make it with you

I really think we can make it girl

YUCK..............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI68yrDGfgg

[Edited on 3/28/2015 by goldtop]

 

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Believin' is alright just don't believe in the wrong thing....Sonny Boy Williamson

 
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Sublime Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 10:29 AM
To those who already responded: See my rules which I added to my original post. I proved my schmaltz worthiness............you must as well.

 

____________________
Don't let the sounds of your own wheels

Drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can

Don't even try to understand

Just find a place to take your stand

And TAKE IT EASY

 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 10:53 AM
quote:
1. You MUST post a video with at least audio of the song. Audio and video is better, but audio only at a minimum.

There are young people who visit this site. The viewing of some of the videos for the "songs" mentioned could cause permanent and irrevocable damage.
Like it has caused for most of us that experienced them originally at a young age!
Think of the children...

 

____________________
Well 30 years of heart and soul,lord we took it further than rock and roll.
We stood together thru thick and thin,yeah we made the best of it all back then.
Then I guess time took it's toll,cut me deep,cut me cold.
Brother against brother....

 

True Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 11:06 AM
quote:
Bread - I want to make it with you

hey have you ever tried
really reaching out for the other side
I maybe climbing on rainbows
but baby here go's

dream are for those for sleep
life it's for us to keep
if you are wondering what this all is leading to
I want to make it with you

I really think we can make it girl

YUCK..............


Yeah, that's a sick one alright.

Keeping with the rules I linked a video with mine. I DID NOT watch the video, as the song, the associated movie and the movie stars (the female and the male) all make me want to spew from my every bodily orifice simultaneously.

No, it's not a Bread song but it is by David Gates. One of the cheesiest, sickest Goddamned chick-flicks and accompanying songs that I ever heard. I'm ill now, just having thought of it. Thanks a lot, Rob!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flwfFNsr_Zs

 

____________________
Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 12:08 PM
Morris Albert ... Feelings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU0Pp2n6ooE

Feeling ...
Woo-o-o feeling ...
Woo-o-o feel you -
again in my arms


[Edited on 3/27/2015 by lolasdeb]

 

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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 01:06 PM
Bon Jovi
I'll Be There For You

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh8MIp2FOhc

Barf.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 01:07 PM
By the way...

What in the hell IS Muskrat Love, anyway?

 

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"Live every week like it's Shark Week." - Tracy Jordan

 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 01:09 PM
quote:
By the way...

What in the hell IS Muskrat Love, anyway?



I think Muskrats are in the beaver family.

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 3/27/2015 at 01:15 PM
O.K. I'll play along...
But I better not get sued for causing some kids brain damage!
How can we forget the # 1 song of '69?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JywK_5bT8z0

Sugar Sugar. By the "group" The Archies.

Sugar, oh, honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you
Honey, oh, sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you

I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you
(I just can't believe it's true)
I just can't believe the wonder of this feeling, too
(I just can't believe it's true)

Oh, sugar, oh, honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, oh, sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you

When I kissed you girl I knew how sweet a kiss could be
(I know how sweet a kiss can be)
Like the summer sunshine pour you sweetness over me
(Pour your sweetness over me)

(Oh, sugar)
Pour your sugar on me, honey
Pour your sugar on me, baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah

Pour your sugar on me, oh, yeah
Pour your sugar on me, honey
Pour your sugar on me, baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah
Pour your sugar on me, honey

Oh sugar, oh, honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, honey, sugar, sugar
Honey, honey, sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl


 

____________________
Well 30 years of heart and soul,lord we took it further than rock and roll.
We stood together thru thick and thin,yeah we made the best of it all back then.
Then I guess time took it's toll,cut me deep,cut me cold.
Brother against brother....

 

Sublime Peach



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  posted on 3/28/2015 at 09:31 AM
quote:

Morris Albert ... Feelings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU0Pp2n6ooE

Feeling ...
Woo-o-o feeling ...
Woo-o-o feel you -
again in my arms


I salute lolasdeb with this selection............she just won my contest.

If you can stand to play this entire 3:36, I salute YOU as well. This guy is really, REALLY bad.
I didn't think anyone could top my own, Close To You, but she just did.

I must admit that I have an advantage here..............I live alone so I didn't risk anyone hearing me play this tune on my computer. That's the kind of behavior that could end a relationship.

 

____________________
Don't let the sounds of your own wheels

Drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can

Don't even try to understand

Just find a place to take your stand

And TAKE IT EASY

 

Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 3/28/2015 at 09:44 AM
...just updated my post with the vid of bread playing I want to make is with you

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 3/28/2015 at 05:53 PM
here's a gem from 1976.

Barry Manilow-I Write the Songs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc3WBqpT4GE

[Edited on 3/30/2015 by mainebigdog]

[Edited on 3/30/2015 by mainebigdog]

 

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  posted on 3/29/2015 at 11:37 PM
If not a winner at least worthy of a consolation prize.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tPcc1ftj8E

I submit to you Terry Jacks "Seasons in the Sun" from 1974, with lyrics by Rod McKuen (that should have already given you some hint as to what was being packaged here). No song has ever paired such schmaltz with an equally insipid arrangement and whinny delivery. Off the scale for both cringe and schmaltz this late contender merits your consideration. In the final analysis- truly nauseating.

My personal runnerup is Richard Harris' "MacArthur Park". Just that image of "someone left a cake out in the rain". This one may also have the most bizarre video associated with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPMpeNDIGdk

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 3/30/2015 at 05:08 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IrDz-urxVw someone commented: "he looks like gomer pyle in a pimp hat".

[Edited on 3/31/2015 by pops42]

 

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Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 3/30/2015 at 06:44 PM
quote:
If not a winner at least worthy of a consolation prize.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tPcc1ftj8E

I submit to you Terry Jacks "Seasons in the Sun" from 1974, with lyrics by Rod McKuen (that should have already given you some hint as to what was being packaged here). No song has ever paired such schmaltz with an equally insipid arrangement and whinny delivery. Off the scale for both cringe and schmaltz this late contender merits your consideration. In the final analysis- truly nauseating.

My personal runnerup is Richard Harris' "MacArthur Park". Just that image of "someone left a cake out in the rain". This one may also have the most bizarre video associated with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPMpeNDIGdk


Seasons in the sun is definitely deluxe schmaltz but McArthur Park is more weird.....odd...peculiar..... it makes me want to twist my head like a dog wondering what's up....

 

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Sublime Peach



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  posted on 3/31/2015 at 12:03 AM
quote:

If not a winner at least worthy of a consolation prize.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tPcc1ftj8E

I submit to you Terry Jacks "Seasons in the Sun" from 1974, with lyrics by Rod McKuen (that should have already given you some hint as to what was being packaged here). No song has ever paired such schmaltz with an equally insipid arrangement and whinny delivery. Off the scale for both cringe and schmaltz this late contender merits your consideration. In the final analysis- truly nauseating.

My personal runnerup is Richard Harris' "MacArthur Park". Just that image of "someone left a cake out in the rain". This one may also have the most bizarre video associated with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPMpeNDIGdk


Oh My God, Don...........you are one SCHMALTZY dude, man. You got not one, but two in there which are way up in contention for #1. I actually made it all the way through both of them, I'm quite proud of myself. I'm glad I listened to all of Seasons In The Sun because right at the 3:00 mark he delivers what's possibly the worst line in the history of recorded music:

"We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach"

Someone could not have possibly been serious when they wrote that.

[Edited on 3/31/2015 by robslob]

 

____________________
Don't let the sounds of your own wheels

Drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can

Don't even try to understand

Just find a place to take your stand

And TAKE IT EASY

 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 3/31/2015 at 02:26 AM
Crying In My Sleep (Art Garfunkel)

Everything this guy does solo is liberally coated in schmaltz which shows what a great job Paul Simon did in harnessing his talent to produce such great music.

I'm spoilt for choice but try this for size:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgviAsiHMgM






[Edited on 3/31/2015 by Shavian]

 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 3/31/2015 at 02:30 AM
Lucky Stars (Dean Friedman and Denise Marsa)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-k3hjvMGuU











[Edited on 3/31/2015 by Shavian]

 

Peach Master



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  posted on 3/31/2015 at 05:36 AM
Here's my offering: Escape, Rupurt Holmes

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/pinacoladalyrics.html

Video: http://youtu.be/QVdhZwK7cS8


 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 3/31/2015 at 11:31 AM
Leslie Gore - Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows (really, Leslie??? )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQmBXEZEYtg

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows
Everything that's wonderful
Is what I feel when we're together.
Brighter than a lucky penny
When you're near the raindrops disappears, dear
And I feel so fine ... just to know that you are mine
My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows
That's how this refrain goes, so come on join in everybody (please ... don't! )


 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

True Peach



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  posted on 3/31/2015 at 12:23 PM
quote:
quote:
1. You MUST post a video with at least audio of the song. Audio and video is better, but audio only at a minimum.

There are young people who visit this site. The viewing of some of the videos for the "songs" mentioned could cause permanent and irrevocable damage.
Like it has caused for most of us that experienced them originally at a young age!
Think of the children...


lol.

and..goldtop's "makes me want to twist my head like a dog wondering what's up"

too funny. Funniest thread of the year.

 
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