Don't click or your IP will be banned


Hittin' The Web with the Allman Brothers Band Forum
You are not logged in

< Last Thread   Next Thread >Ascending sortDescending sorting  
Author: Subject: Citizen Cope to fill in for Gregg on ABB late summer tour

Peach Pro





Posts: 297
(297 all sites)
Registered: 11/29/2001
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 08:50 AM
And in other news….

Gregg announced that he and one time wife Cher will re-unite both personally and artistically. “With my new liver and her continuously remodeled exterior, we’re both different people. In fact, we will do a duet to begin our shows by covering the stylistics, “You Make Me Feel Brand New”, Allman stated. Allman went on to say, “Now with Sonny gone after that little downhill incident, Chastity and Elijah could benefit from two parents. Those two boys need a man around the house.”

Warren Haynes has decided to put his Gov’t Mule out to pasture as he’s Goin’ Out West to begin a modeling career. Haynes has reportedly signed on with Hanes undergarments to be their new ad model. “They really appreciate me”, said Haynes. When asked about the move, drummer Matt Abts responded with, “Hey, He’s got hair on his chest and looks good without a shirt.”

Butch Trucks has decided to lay down his drum sticks in 2011 to pursue his passion for writing. He also has decided to drop the “Butch” and return to his given name of Claude in addition to changing his last name from Trucks to Balls. He has a work in progress that is expected in late 2011. It’s a novel about an angry feline titled; “Cats Revenge”.

Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi have decided to split (musically) with each pursuing different career paths.

Ms. Tedeschi will partner with Scottish phenom Susan Boyle in a world tour that will blend hip-hop and rap with show tunes. The new act will be billed as; “Two Live Sue”.

Derek has cut his long blonde pony tail with a donation to Locks of Love, and has done a complete career 180 as he joins Lady Gaga’s touring band. He still intends to slip in some elements of Indian Classical music, wearing a turban on stage. A world tour is planned with the Goo Goo Dolls acting as a support act. The tour will be billed as; “Goo Goo, Gaga with a touch of Raga”. Mick Jagger has offered to join in on selected dates to add a bit of ya ya. When asked about giving up his artistic freedom and going pop, the junior Trucks responded; “Artistic freedom is nice and all, but it doesn’t pay the bills like pop does, and I’ve got two kids to put through college, man!”

Marc Quinonas will be pounding the skins with Ricky Martin as he felt he really missed out on Living La Vida Loca in all those years playing with the Allmans.

Otiel Burbridge has laid down his bass to focus on scat singing full time in an Egyptian a cappella group tentatively called; “Toodly-Toot-Tootin’ for Tutankhamen ”.

Jaimoe Jai Johanny Johnson, on a break from rehearsal for next seasons’ Dancing with the Stars, said that he will be the sole owner of the Allman Brothers moniker but did say, that he’s considering changing the groups name to The Brothers Johnson.

Even webmasters, Lana and Rowland, are re-tooling their once Allman related website, to reflect what will be their new career in bedding and mattress sales. The new site will be renamed; “Hittin’ the Sack”.

Reporters were eager to get Dickey Betts’ input on all these changes with his former employer, as he contemplates replacing talent judge Simon Cowell on next seasons’ American Idol. When asked for reaction, Betts simply shrugged his shoulders and said; “I don’t give a damn what they do, they can all go fax themselves for all I care!”

 

____________________
"Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid." - FZ

 
E-Mail User
Replies:

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 8946
(10094 all sites)
Registered: 6/14/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 09:21 AM

this shoulda been posted on April 1

 

____________________

You don't work, the man don't pay ya.
There ain't no saint to come and save ya

 
E-Mail User

Universal Peach



Karma:
Posts: 6570
(6580 all sites)
Registered: 5/18/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 09:32 AM
quote:

this shoulda been posted on April 1


What do you mean? Which part isn't true?

 

____________________

 

Peach Bud



Karma:
Posts: 8
(8 all sites)
Registered: 7/16/2010
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 09:59 AM
Let's not jump the gun here.

My attorney Bob Loblaw, is still going over the contract details.

 

____________________
My music is deep.

 

Peach Master



Karma:
Posts: 562
(562 all sites)
Registered: 7/6/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 10:00 AM
well done.
 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1558
(1568 all sites)
Registered: 2/14/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 10:40 AM
quote:
“Goo Goo, Gaga with a touch of Raga”.


That one line by itself was worth reading the entire post.

Almost caused a spew-take...can't afford to have hot coffee coming out my nose!

 
E-Mail User

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1963
(1986 all sites)
Registered: 2/27/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 10:57 AM
lol.

well written post.

what about the roadies and crew? what will the brotherhood of light do?

 

____________________


 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 23373
(23372 all sites)
Registered: 12/27/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 11:11 AM
Very funny post.

 

____________________

Quit!

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18593
(18594 all sites)
Registered: 11/20/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 11:19 AM
ROTFLMAO!!!!! Too funny! Jeff, reading your concert reviews in the past I've long thought you had a way with words when describing the music experience. Now I see you have tabloid talent, also!

Goo Goo, Gaga with a touch of Raga and a side of Ya-Ya ... .

" ... Chastity and Elijah could benefit from two parents. Those two boys need a man around the house.” lol... (that's 'Chaz', sir!)




[Edited on 7/30/2010 by lolasdeb]

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

Peach Head



Karma:
Posts: 51
(51 all sites)
Registered: 6/27/2010
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 11:25 AM
Great thread haha.

Actually I would probably follow Derek Trucks even to a Gaga concert.

Maybe....

 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1636
(1639 all sites)
Registered: 10/8/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 11:59 AM
Nice now they can finally do an entire set that sounds like Everlast.

 

____________________
Giggidy Giggidy

 

Sublime Peach



Karma:
Posts: 7595
(7595 all sites)
Registered: 10/12/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 12:23 PM
I love it............nothing wrong with some good humor 'round here.

 

____________________
Don't let the sounds of your own wheels
Drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to take your stand
And TAKE IT EASY

 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1907
(1909 all sites)
Registered: 3/16/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 12:49 PM
Loved it! Well written and it's nice to see a thread that I've read before someone takes it too seriously and starts freaking out! It made me laugh. Thank you.
 

Universal Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5768
(6034 all sites)
Registered: 2/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 12:52 PM
Lady GAGA will be replacing Butch Trucks for the remainder of the fall tour as well.

 

____________________
Lovin my Duane Allman music....everyday jamin' for Duane.

 
E-Mail User

Peach Extraordinaire



Karma:
Posts: 4772
(4786 all sites)
Registered: 12/5/2001
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 02:50 PM
I almost spit the water I was drinking out when I read the thread title, too funny.

 

____________________
"Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men for the nastiest of motives will somehow work for the benefit of all". John Maynard Keynes

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 19784
(21124 all sites)
Registered: 3/23/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 03:15 PM
Meanwhile a ticket broker for these shows has yet to be determined as Ticketmaster has decided to become an adoption agency and has officially changed their name to TicketBastards.

[Note from editor: Before anyone takes offense I was adopted too. ]

 

____________________

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18592
(18652 all sites)
Registered: 2/9/2006
Status: Online

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 03:22 PM
quote:
Marc Quinonas will be pounding the skins with Ricky Martin as he felt he really missed out on Living La Vida Loca in all those years playing with the Allmans.


A tale that truly touches my heart

 

____________________


 

Peach Master



Karma:
Posts: 844
(844 all sites)
Registered: 10/1/2008
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 03:47 PM
quote:
......nothing wrong with some good humor 'round here.


Good Humor? I'll take a Toasted Almond please.

 

____________________

 

Extreme Peach



Karma:
Posts: 1337
(1337 all sites)
Registered: 2/20/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 04:08 PM
TFF!!! Thanks for the laughs!

 

____________________

 

Peach Master



Karma:
Posts: 772
(772 all sites)
Registered: 3/29/2008
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 04:34 PM
Extremely creattive had me going for a moment I really enjoyed...

When is your short stories coffee table book coming out?

 

____________________
"Close your eyes and listen"


 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 40434
(41898 all sites)
Registered: 7/19/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 07:07 PM
LMAO! Hilarious story. Thank you so much for the laughs - I needed it today.

 

____________________
Front feet doin' the shuffle, back feet too, love them good ol' Georgia blues


 

True Peach



Karma:
Posts: 14277
(14329 all sites)
Registered: 12/20/2001
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 09:22 PM
Good stuff.

 

____________________

 

A Peach Supreme



Karma:
Posts: 2526
(2669 all sites)
Registered: 10/22/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/30/2010 at 09:41 PM
Simply brilliant!!!!

 

____________________
LOVE AND PRAYERS TO THOSE UNDER THE WEATHER AND OVER THE RAINBOW.


 

Ultimate Peach



Karma:
Posts: 3300
(3300 all sites)
Registered: 1/19/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/31/2010 at 08:00 AM
quote:
Marc Quinonas will be pounding the skins with Ricky Martin as he felt he really missed out on Living La Vida Loca in all those years playing with the Allmans.



Who is "Marc Quinonas"??!!?!?!!?!?!?!?

 

____________________

 
 


Powered by XForum 1.81.1 by Trollix Software


Privacy | Terms of Service
The ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND name, The ALLMAN BROTHERS name, likenesses, logos, mushroom design and peach truck are all registered trademarks of THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. whose rights are specifically reserved. Any artwork, visual, or audio representations used on this web site CONTAINING ANY REGISTERED TRADEMARKS are under license from The ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. A REVOCABLE, GRATIS LICENSE IS GRANTED TO ALL REGISTERED PEACH CORP MEMBERS FOR The DOWNLOADING OF ONE COPY FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. ANY DISTRIBUTION OR REPRODUCTION OF THE TRADEMARKS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE PROHIBITED AND ARE SPECIFICALLY RESERVED BY THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO.,INC.
site by Hittin' the Web Group with www.experiencewasabi3d.com