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Author: Subject: Suicide

Maximum Peach





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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 11:25 AM
I know there has been a thread on the topic, but I had to post this. This gentleman was a client of our firm. He was one of the nicest guys in the business I have ever met. He was always smiling and seemed super vibrant, which is not the norm. Usually this business is filled with self absorbed a-holes. We got news recently that he passed away unexpectedly, so we thought it was a heart attack or something like that. I am stunned, totally stunned.

North Dakota CIO Cochrane dead at 53
By Barry B. Burr
April 14, 2010, 12:32 PM ET
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Stephen Cochrane, executive director and chief investment officer of the $3.1 billion North Dakota State Investment Board and North Dakota Retirement and Investment Office, Bismarck, died Saturday. He was 53.

“Our investigation determined his death was a suicide,” said Sgt. Steve Hall, supervisor of the Burleigh County Sheriff’s Department’s investigations division. “The investigation determined it was a self-inflicted death by a firearm.”

Mr. Hall said the investigation is continuing. “We are waiting for the final report from the state medical examiner. The preliminary report of his death was ruled a suicide,” Mr. Hall said.

Mr. Cochrane’s body was found in his home at the Island Park Estates community north of Bismarck, Mr. Hall said. The sheriff’s department deputies were called to the scene by a 911 phone call from a family friend at 2:42 a.m. CDT Saturday, Mr. Hall said.

Debbie Cochrane, Mr. Cochrane’s wife, was the only other person in the house at the time, Mr. Hall said.

Sheriff’s police searched Mr. Cochrane’s office at the state investment board “for indications of anything involving his death and is still investigating,” Mr. Hall said. Investigators have “nothing concrete” on the reason for Mr. Cochrane’s suicide, Mr. Hall said. “There was no suicide note we can draw a conclusion from.”

Lt. Gov. Jack Dalrymple, chair of the North Dakota board, said the state investment board will meet April 23 to talk about a replacement.

“I do not know if we will use a (executive recruiting) search firm,” he said. In the interim, Mr. Cochrane’s duties are being divided among investment board staff.

“The state investment board and all of Steve’s friends were very saddened to hear of news of his untimely death and conveyed condolences to his family,” he said. “Steve was a great asset to us and will be surely missed.”

“He was a very capable, upbeat, enthusiastic guy,” he said, calling him “high energy” and “an outstanding investment leader.”

The board has made no public announcement about Mr. Cochrane’s death. “We have been kind of waiting for the family to convey word to the public,” Mr. Dalrymple said. “We felt the family should put out the first statement to the general public.”

The board “put out a brief e-mail to our engaged (money) managers that Steve had passed away,” Mr. Dalrymple said.

Kelly L. Schmidt, North Dakota state treasurer and trustee of the North Dakota board, said, “It’s a big loss to us.”

“We all want an opportunity for the family to work this out,” she said, declining to discuss interim operations of the fund. “We want to be very sensitive to the needs of the family. The obituary hasn’t been posted yet.”

Mr. Cochrane started at the board in January 1997, Ms. Schmidt said.

Fay Kopp, deputy executive director of the state investment board, and other officials of the fund couldn’t be reached, and further details were not immediately available.

Carol Wardlaw, vice president at Dimensional Fund Advisors, a money manager for the board, said Mr. Cochrane “was an extremely capable executive director. … He was a good friend and he will be missed.”

A memorial service for Mr. Cochrane is scheduled for 2 p.m. CDT Friday at Parkway Funeral Service, Bismarck, said Mark Scanson, Parkway funeral director. He will be cremated, Mr. Scanson said.

An obituary posted on the Parkway website said Mr. Cochrane and his wife of 20 years “were the definition of ‘soul mates.’”

Mr. Cochrane “was a loving husband and father who touched and inspired many,” the obituary said. “Stephen was passionate about the outdoors, adventure and, most importantly, his family.”

Along with his wife, Mr. Cochrane is survived by his children, Benjamin Cochrane, Jeffrey Conover, Timothy Conover, Shawna Cochrane and Heather Cochrane. He also is survived by a grandson, Carter; his first wife, Karen Lennard (mother of Benjamin); and his sisters, Camilla Cochrane, Lesley Quick and Kimberly Cochrane, the obituary said.

Mr. Cochrane’s family identified two organizations for donations in his memory, according to an e-mail from Connie L. Flanagan, fiscal and investment officer of the North Dakota Retirement and Investment Office and the state investment board:

• The Central Dakota Humane Society, 2104 37th Street, Mandan, ND 58554. Phone: 701-667-2020. https://secure13.softcomca.com/cdhs_net/How%20to%20Help/Make%20a%20Donation /donationform.htm.

• Shands Teaching Hospital at the University of Florida, Shands Office of Development, P.O. Box 100386, Gainesville, FL 32610. Phone: 352-265-0111. http://shandsgiving.org/giving.

In tributes posted on the Parkway website, Bob Toso, an investment board trustee, wrote in part, “He as also a great asset to the public employees of North Dakota and all of us will miss his leadership.”

Howard Sage, also an investment board trustee, wrote, “He was definitely a professional in every sense of the word and a mentor to us all.”


 
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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 11:41 AM
Sorry to hear about this.

Sometimes, you just don't know ...

R.I.P. Mr Cochrane

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 11:48 AM
Just lost a good friend last weekend. 35 years old, attorney, extremely fun guy. Shot himself in a cornfield last Saturday. I have been walking around in a daze all week. I would have never believed he'd kill himself. So sad.
 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 11:48 AM
Thoughts and prayers are with his family ... they have a long and difficult recovery ahead. May they have strength through this and find their peace. Having been through this my stomach does flips and I feel panic and dread anytime I read these stories. I'm glad to read his children were not home when this happened. I hope his wife was spared the additional burden of being witness to the deed.

 

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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 11:54 AM
Very sad. There was one in my small town a week ago. A husband and wife were having an argument. The wife thought he had gone out to the garage to cool off. She went out to see him and he had hanged himself, but was still breathing. She is a nurse, checked his vitals, called an ambulance and got him to the hospital. He was brain dead and still breathing. He died about 24 hours later. They had 2 children that are still school age. Horrendous.

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 12:35 PM
My younger brother took his life 26 years ago yesterday. I was at the cemetery and realized that I could no longer remember his voice. That hit me harder than a hammer.

 

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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 12:38 PM
quote:
My younger brother took his life 26 years ago yesterday. I was at the cemetery and realized that I could no longer remember his voice. That hit me harder than a hammer.


Oh man, that is really sad. Sending you comforting vibes.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 01:16 PM
It's really too bad about the suicide. I can imagine the pressure on that
man in that job must have been tremendous. He was still young.

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 06:28 PM
Besides the trauma and grief for those left behind there is the unexpected shock when this seemingly comes out of nowhere. I worked for several years in a suicide and crisis center. In training it was mentioned that males are much more likely to kill themselves. The reason given was that they are more less likely to open up and are more likely to emotionally isolate themselves when a crisis develops. All I can say, guys, is take heed. Don't be afraid to seek out other resources when it all starts to feel unbearable. I know we're supposed to be the strong and in charge types but just having someone who can empathize can provide the necessary emotional release. I was going to mention family and friends as resources but it is important that they really listen and don't judge or offer quick solutions or feel good statements. This can cause someone to stuff what's going on which can create even more pain. I'm no expert but these are a couple of things to consider if you are ever in the situation either with serious suicidal thoughts or in a position (and life-saving opportunity) to provide support for someone who is.

[Edited on 4/17/2010 by dzobo]

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 06:54 PM
Males are much more likely to kill themselves. The reason given was that they are more less likely to open up and are more likely to emotionally isolate themselves when a crisis develops.

We don't even talk about suicide. Too many people don't talk at all. People are just roboto.

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 06:55 PM
quote:
Males are much more likely to kill themselves. The reason given was that they are more less likely to open up and are more likely to emotionally isolate themselves when a crisis develops.

We don't even talk about suicide. Too many people don't talk at all. People are just roboto.



Nice. Way to crap on this guys thread.

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 07:08 PM
Not what was intended. I often wonder why people post about private matters on the internet?

Suicide is one of the most taboo topics in the world.

When was the last time you spoke to your depressed family member or friend about it?

[Edited on 4/17/2010 by roboto]

 

Peach Bud



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 10:49 PM
My nephew took his life on March 16...he was only 21. I've cried everyday....
 

True Peach



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 10:53 PM
Jim, very sad to read this. Condolences to Mr. Cochrane's family.

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 4/16/2010 at 11:04 PM
Sorry for both of your losses. It's a hard road to surviving the loss of a loved one without suicide and with suicide, it is even harder. So sorry.
 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 4/17/2010 at 07:36 AM
I'm so sorry for your losses

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/17/2010 at 06:08 PM
It's awful. Suicide is a possible result of the illness of severe depression just as death is a possible result of cancer or heart disease. It is not an act of will but a manifestation of illness and should be understood that way. A terrible tragedy.

 

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Sublime Peach



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  posted on 4/17/2010 at 06:55 PM
i buried my friend of 43 years yesterday.he was also 53 years old.
sad way to die

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 4/17/2010 at 07:33 PM
I have to admit I avoided this thread cause I knew it would be painful. Condolences to all those that have known someone who has passed this way. I know several people who have taken Their own life, most recently my young neighbor chose to end his life. Also have lost Friends and Family to vehicle/alcohol tragedies. Very sad and unnecessary................Peace..............joe
 

True Peach



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  posted on 4/17/2010 at 08:08 PM
quote:
It's awful. Suicide is a possible result of the illness of severe depression just as death is a possible result of cancer or heart disease. It is not an act of will but a manifestation of illness and should be understood that way. A terrible tragedy.


That's the way I believe it to be.

Prayers to all.

 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 4/20/2010 at 05:45 PM
quote:
quote:
It's awful. Suicide is a possible result of the illness of severe depression just as death is a possible result of cancer or heart disease. It is not an act of will but a manifestation of illness and should be understood that way. A terrible tragedy.


That's the way I believe it to be.

Prayers to all.


x 2

 

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  posted on 4/20/2010 at 06:35 PM
lolasdeb took the words right out of my mouth....my stomach tightens up and I feel panic - - and sorrow for Mr. Cochrane's family and for the darkness he was enduring.

My boyfriend took his life a year ago and I'm still very fragile on this topic. Goldtopper's post brought tears.....dzobo and roboto make good points....and I think doug? mentioned illness/mental depression.....it is very sad that our society treats suicide as a taboo topic and that mental depression is not recognized as an illness by so many.

Makes me sad to think there are probably some people on this ABB site that are fighting darkness / demons and hesitate to reach out. Just know there are people who really care, truly care, and you have value and many people do want to help.

 

Peach Pro



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  posted on 4/20/2010 at 11:04 PM
So very sad. Sometimes the people who seem the happiest are the most miserable on the inside. I feel so sorry for his family. It always seems the loved ones are left asking "wasn't I enough to make you happy?". My heart goes out to them.
 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 4/21/2010 at 07:16 PM
The article said they he and his wife were soulmates. Well a soulmate does not commit suicide and leave his soulmate, who was even in the house when he did it. They were not soulmates. He had his public personna and obligations and then his family life. He could not even work out his problems with her. He could not talk to her about what bothered him, all he could do was try to escape life and her. That tells you plenty about his relationship with her.

When people are in miserable relationships, just get a divorce if you are married. You can get a new house later on, even if it is smaller. If you can't afford a house, rent something. Don't stay stuck with someone you are afraid will destroy you financially or professionally if you try to leave, or blackmail you using children as the threat.

Live free. When people make you miserable, just get them out of your life. Leave. Quit your job, move and give youself some space.

Suicide is a desperate effort when someone feels they have no other choice or way out.

 

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A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 4/22/2010 at 08:32 AM
quote:


Live free. When people make you miserable, just get them out of your life. Leave. Quit your job, move and give youself some space.


Not saying that suicide is an option, but the above is a lot easier said than done, especially as one gets on in years.

 

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