Don't click or your IP will be banned


Hittin' The Web with the Allman Brothers Band Forum
You are not logged in

< Last Thread   Next Thread >Ascending sortDescending sorting  
Author: Subject: Angel and Rogue Advice Requested

Ultimate Peach





Posts: 3475
(3476 all sites)
Registered: 3/10/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/7/2010 at 08:52 PM
I think we need an Angels advice column! I'll start.

An old and dear friend is planning on getting married. I know that I"m also his closest friend. He has shared every intimate detail of this crazy, chaotic, unhealthy relationship with me. I've always been honest and supportive and never judgmental. He's madly in love with her and don't believe the same holds true for her. I've seen her use and hurt him and he remains madly in love.

They just got engaged. He didn't tell me. I read it on Facebook. Needless to say I'm really hurt by this. And I really really think this is a bad decision. I'm sure that's why he didn't tell me himself. What do I do?

I don't think I can say anything that would change his mind, so why bother? I'm not going to cut him off and stop our friendship. But, geez. I'll have a hard time being supportive of this.

HELP!!!!

 

____________________
We can bomb the world to pieces, but we can't bomb it into peace. - Michael Franti

 
Replies:

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 19784
(21124 all sites)
Registered: 3/23/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/7/2010 at 09:01 PM
I used to have my own advice website.

Well Rhonda you pretty much said it yourself. He knows how you feel. All you can do is continue to be his friend and let the chips fall where they may with his relationship.

 

____________________

 

World Class Peach



Karma:
Posts: 5801
(5856 all sites)
Registered: 5/4/2005
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/7/2010 at 09:07 PM
From a Rogue...

Wow DR... That's a tough one. Whenever I'm confronted with like situations of people I know, the first thing I think of is what my friend's dad said to us one time, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Tread wisely."

My suggestion is email him and tell him you heard about the engagement and wish him and his future bride all the best.

If issues come up later between the two of them and he comes running to you for help etc., I'd just say to him this is something the two of you have to work out and that I can't (won't) get involved.

Good luck Rhonda!

P.S. I probably would wait until the last minute to buy a wedding gift for them.

 

____________________
"It's all about Allman Brothers pride." T Thompson Greek Theater, Los Angeles 5/6/2005

 

Ultimate Peach



Karma:
Posts: 3475
(3476 all sites)
Registered: 3/10/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/7/2010 at 09:09 PM
I'll totally be there to pick up the pieces if need be. I sent a text....haven't gotten a response yet.

 

____________________
We can bomb the world to pieces, but we can't bomb it into peace. - Michael Franti

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 24883
(25865 all sites)
Registered: 5/5/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/8/2010 at 05:18 AM
That's a tough spot to be in Rhonda. You don't want to lose the friendship I am sure but you want to voice your views as a friend which sounds to me like he is ignoring and avoiding. I think you have done what you can. Hopefully all will work out and if not then you did try to warn him and in the end your friendship will still be there. Your heart is in the right place... all ways!

 

____________________




 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 16576
(16858 all sites)
Registered: 12/24/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/9/2010 at 06:42 AM
quote:
That's a tough spot to be in Rhonda. You don't want to lose the friendship I am sure but you want to voice your views as a friend which sounds to me like he is ignoring and avoiding. I think you have done what you can. Hopefully all will work out and if not then you did try to warn him and in the end your friendship will still be there. Your heart is in the right place... all ways!


That is excellent advice, Sue! It wiould be hard to follow, for me anyway, but it is the right path.
Good luck to you, Rhonda. And a big hug too!

 

____________________

Thanks for playing
R.I.P. Spacemonkey

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18593
(18594 all sites)
Registered: 11/20/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/9/2010 at 02:00 PM
Sorry you find yourself in this position, Rhonda... it's a tough one. What I've learned from a similar situation is too keep your opinions to yourself but be there for your friend, regardless. Love really is blind and chances are that anything you might have to say to your friend about his sweetie would fall on deaf ears and might also alienate him. Anyway that's what happened to me when I had a similar situation with a friend who was crazy over someone that was bad news. Long story short - we are close friends to this day but there was a period initially where we didn't have a lot of communication and I'm pretty sure it's because I spoke the truth about some things that they didn't care to face. Good Luck! To you and to your friend.

 

____________________
"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine, and we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down..."

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 40434
(41898 all sites)
Registered: 7/19/2007
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/9/2010 at 03:58 PM
Rhonda - really tough spot you're in. I know you'll do the right thing. Everyone has kind of given you the same advice and I agree whole heartedly. It's not easy, but I know you'll be there to pick up the pieces. The main thing is that in the end, you won't have lost your friend.

 

____________________
Front feet doin' the shuffle, back feet too, love them good ol' Georgia blues


 

Ultimate Peach



Karma:
Posts: 3475
(3476 all sites)
Registered: 3/10/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/9/2010 at 09:55 PM
Thanks everyone. Well, he finally fessed up. Guess I just need to hang in there and hope for the best.

 

____________________
We can bomb the world to pieces, but we can't bomb it into peace. - Michael Franti

 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 24883
(25865 all sites)
Registered: 5/5/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/10/2010 at 07:00 AM
We'll hope for the best with you!

 

____________________




 

Zen Peach



Karma:
Posts: 18504
(18970 all sites)
Registered: 1/19/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 4/13/2010 at 08:34 PM
Be honest. Tell him you support him always, but you don't think this person is good for him. He will do what he wants to do anyway; but on some level he already knows something isn't right (tells you the details of a 'chaotic' relationship). He's just infatuated with her or with the feeling of being in love. Give them 2 years of living together and he will start to see some of what others already do. When he makes the mistake of marrying her, be cordial and civil to her but always talk directly to him. Do not give her a message to tell him. If you call and speak to her and she says she will tell him you called, if you do not hear back from him, assume she is full of sh*t and did not tell him. If you need to reach him, email him or call him at work. Some women are just pure evil. She may not be that way, but could be. Don't give her the benefit of the doubt since she is already not treating him right.

 

____________________
"Mankind is a single nation" "Allah did not make you a single people so he could try you in what he gave you, to him you will all return, he will inform you where you differed". Quran Chapter 2 Sura 213

 
 


Powered by XForum 1.81.1 by Trollix Software


Privacy | Terms of Service
The ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND name, The ALLMAN BROTHERS name, likenesses, logos, mushroom design and peach truck are all registered trademarks of THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. whose rights are specifically reserved. Any artwork, visual, or audio representations used on this web site CONTAINING ANY REGISTERED TRADEMARKS are under license from The ABB MERCHANDISING CO., INC. A REVOCABLE, GRATIS LICENSE IS GRANTED TO ALL REGISTERED PEACH CORP MEMBERS FOR The DOWNLOADING OF ONE COPY FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. ANY DISTRIBUTION OR REPRODUCTION OF THE TRADEMARKS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE PROHIBITED AND ARE SPECIFICALLY RESERVED BY THE ABB MERCHANDISING CO.,INC.
site by Hittin' the Web Group with www.experiencewasabi3d.com